Episode Report Card Erin: A | 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Sark. Do I even need to say anything else?
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 8 | Aired on 02.22.2005
Weiss is all, that's called a hobby, WINGNUT. Vaughn's all, hobby? You locked yourself in a closet for a month and played Neil Diamond records 24/7. It wasn't right, my man. I'm just looking out for you. Weiss is all, oh, please. To this DAY you probably wonder how I got those ships into those bottles, don't you? DON'T YOU? Oh, and I'd try not lecturing me on "taking it slow," Captain Non-Courageous, seeing as how you and Syd have been dancing around each other for the better part of THREE YEARS and you STILL haven't spent two consecutive nights together, okay, chief? Or that's what Weiss said in the continuation of the scene IN MY HEAD.
Before Vaughn can pull out a relationship pie chart to illustrate just how the Weissadia is never going to work, the girls themselves show up and everyone's all, Hi! Hi! Hello! How's things! Aren't you pretty! Aren't YOU pretty! Et cetera. Syd says that they got called in, but Jack and Sloane haven't emerged from Sloane's office yet. We get a shot of the Elder Apples in Sloane's office and they don't look like they're discussing key lime tart recipes. Finally, the doors sluice open (seriously, there's a definite Star Trekkian "shwoooosh" sound as they open) and Jack and Sloane walk out in slo-mo to a soundtrack of "Strings of Impending Doom." It's actually very funny because Victor Garber is really working the Pursed Lips of Trouble here and the "Holy Batman!" orchestra is going into overtime.
Conference Room of Endless Expositions. Sloane stands before the team and states that his position at the Apple Store is contingent upon one major rule: He can't make contact with a short list of operatives. He makes contact with anyone on this list, and he's out. So, if a mission arises that might involve one of these contacts, Sloane is required to immediately step down and recuse himself from the mission. (Yes, that's a word, Microsoft Spell Check. I suggest you acquaint yourself with dictionary.com, like, now.) That moment has come and, as of now, Jack's in charge. "I would ask your cooperation in not involving me at all," hisses Sloane. "Good luck." He stalks off, raising eyebrows around the table. Weiss is all, so, what? He's not coming back? Syd jumps up with a "Wheee!" and does a double back flip over the conference table. Jack squashes her glee when he informs everyone that Sloane will be back -- but only when this mission is over. Vaughn's all, if Sloane can't touch the case, then why did the CIA assign it to this task force? Jack says it's because of Sydney. It involves someone she's very familiar with: Anna Espinosa. Syd looks shocked. "I thought -- she's supposed to be dead." Jack just looks at her. "So are a lot of people," he kind of smirks. Heh. Irina is SO alive, people. And, shout-out? Because, as we know, no one ever dies on Alias, as I think I've made clear, oh, about TWELVE HUNDRED TIMES NOW. Francie, anyone? Will? Lazaraboomboom? Irina the first time around? Even Sloane himself?