Episode Report Card Erin: A | 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Sark. Do I even need to say anything else?
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 8 | Aired on 02.22.2005
Conference Room of Endless Expositions. Dix, Jack, Vaughn, Weiss, and Marshall are all sitting around, waiting for Sark's tracker to kick in. Weiss is all, are you SURE you put the tracker in properly? Marshall's all, dude? It's me. Jack is all, I can't stress how important it is to locate CRF headquarters. Marshall's all, um, why is everyone picking on me? Seriously. This is a hard job. Suddenly, Sark's tracker goes hot. Marshall picks it up in South Africa, Johannesburg, to be exact. Everyone moves into action. Jack walks out and…comes across Sloane, standing in the middle of the hallway, like…well, like the golem that he is, actually. Jack stops. He tells Sloane that Syd and Nadia are in Estonia, tracking Anna, Dixon is leading a team to Johannesburg to raid CRF headquarters, and this should all be over soon. Sloane just says "thank you," and Jack walks off.
Johannesburg. Dix is leading a team into a building. Agent Sean, backing him up, says they'd rather take out data on CRF, not prisoners, whatever that means. A bunch of black-clad CIA folk parade into the building and…come upon Sark, sitting on top of a cafeteria table with a bottle of Grande Dame. "Gentlemen?" he says, popping the cork. "Were you expecting a bigger party?" He takes a swig from the champers and smirks at them. "This isn't CRF headquarters," grits Vaughn. "You're a genius," retorts Sark. Heh. Vaughn asks where they are and Sark says that they're nowhere in particular, just in a nice place for a chat. Sark -- as always, completely in control of the situation -- gets up and walks toward Vaughn. "I will help you locate CRF leadership but, as always, you must do something for me in return." "Why the charade?" asks Vaughn. "If you were going to cooperate, why run at all?" "For the bubbly, of course," says Sark, taking a swig. Oh, please. OH, PLEASE. I appreciate that Sark is back, but did they have to turn him into a complete and utter Hannibal? Unless he had a goddamn gasmask on, there is NO WAY he could have survived the sleeping potion, okay? NO WAY. And yet, here he is, blithely drinking champagne and saying that he's more than happy to cooperate with the CIA, in exchange for…certain things. Yeah. This entire plotline made no sense to me whatsoever, but it involved Sark, so all I have to do is just sit here and drool and forget that such a thing as "plot" ever existed.
Estonia. Syd and Nadia are early. "Who says girls can't make it anywhere on time?" quips Syd. Heh. Syd tells Nadia to get comfortable, but just then, an elevator door dings. The girls move forward to some glass doors. They see Vorich exiting an elevator. Syd says, "All right, one down, one to go. Where are you, Anna? Come on." Seconds later, both Syd and Nadia move further into the building. They stop and see Vorich, checking his watch. Anna appears and throws something around Vorich's neck, choking him. "Let's take her," says Syd. "Bad idea," says Bradley Cooper Clone #2. Seriously. Who IS this guy? He looks like a bad carbon copy of Will. They couldn't get Anna a dark-haired henchman with facial hair? The sisters turn and look at Not Even Close To Being As Cute As Bradley Cooper. Or, as I shall refer to him from now on, "NBC" -- "Not Bradley Cooper." "I was looking forward to spending more time --" says NBC before Nadia kicks his gun out of his hand. The sisters gang up on him and he's down for the count. Syd looks over at Vorich and sees Anna taking a tube or something off his body. "Vorich had the VX gas on him," says Sydney. Did I miss something? What in the HELL is the VX gas? All Syd said about this meeting was that Vorich worked at some chemical plant. Whatever. According to Google, VX gas is easily absorbed into the body and highly toxic and deadly, so I suppose this all has to do with the Dante Compound that Anna got her hands on. Syd runs off in pursuit of Anna and the gas.