Episode Report Card Erin: A | 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Sark. Do I even need to say anything else?
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 8 | Aired on 02.22.2005
Milos goes on to say that there's some guy in the west lobby of the Hotel Metropol who's enjoying a nice seventeen-year-old Scot. Oops. Sorry. A nice seventeen-year-old SCOTCH. Excuse me. The man's name is Willem Karg, and Milos shows Syd a picture of him. He's cute. I actually thought he was Will for a moment, but since Bradley Cooper has never been rumored to come back on this show, I quickly discounted my original thought. "This is the man you are to kill," says Milos. "I will require photographic evidence of his corpse, plus what I understand is your keepsake -- his right index finger." Syd looks less than pleased. "I will be sitting on this bench for the next forty minutes," says Milos. "Return within that time, and you will get your package. After that…I will not be sitting on this bench." Syd considers this. "Tick-tock, Miss Espinosa," says Milos.
Appleseed Van. Seconds later, Syd's standing over Dix and Vaughn as Vaughn announces that the Hotel Metropol is seven blocks away and Dix announces that they have thirty-two minutes left on the clock. Syd gets on comms and asks Marshall how they're doing on Karg's file. Marshall's sending it, but it's a rather large file. It arrives onscreen and the three of them read it over. Turns out, Karg's not a nice guy. Shocker. The only thing we really need to know is that Karg likes him some hookers. "Wait," says Syd, hearing this hooker tidbit. She flings off her coat, rips the sleeves, collar and lower portion off her dress, grabs a bottle of water and throws it on her hair, and turns herself into a high-class hooker, thereby completing this homage to True Lies, without the benefit of Jamie Lee Curtis.
Syd walks into the Hotel Metropol and requests a room. As the clerk is filling her request, Dixon enters. Syd requests two keys, and the clerk asks if she has any luggage that needs carrying. "No, shank you," she says, in the most atrocious attempt at a French accent I've ever heard. "I'm twavelling light." Dix passes behind her and takes the second key. Syd moves off toward the west lobby bar. Once there, she looks around and spots Karg, sucking up the scotch. She walks up and says, "Willem?" He's all, ya? She's all, doooo yooou know chow chard shit shas been to thfind you? Seriously. Her accent is that bad. But it doesn't really matter, because she speaks the International Language of Boobs.
The Boobs tell Karg that he shouldn't be drinking and that Matteo told them so. Karg is all, how do you know my partner? The Boobs are all, who do you think sent me here, you stupid drunk? The Boobs are Matteo's early birthday present. Syd's boobs continue their seduction of Karg, and the entire scene isn't really that noteworthy, so let's move on to the part where Karg's finger gets cut off. Heh. We cut to Syd's hotel room, where Karg and Boobs are seen entering. Karg moves in to kiss Syd's neck and suddenly he sees Vaughn in the corner and Dixon in the other corner. Heh. Karg freaks out and everyone moves into action. He's all, vat is happening? Syd is all, it's your lucky day, homes. Vaughn is all, you get to live. Karg is all, stop manhandling me! Dix is all, there are people out there who want you DEAD, okay? We're not those people. We're just people who're gonna take your finger. Hee.