Episode Report Card Erin: A | 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Sark. Do I even need to say anything else?
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 8 | Aired on 02.22.2005
No. Seriously. They fight. All over the damn store. The best part comes when the security guy throws himself at Anna and she's all, meet my ELBOW, dipshit! Syd gets knocked down, but quickly recovers and delivers a couple of choice kicks as "Makin' Whoopee" continues to play. Hee. TiVo would have you know that while some of the major falls were taken by able stuntwomen, the majority of this fight was played out by Jennifer Garner and Gina Torres. Heh. They git INTO it, y'all. Syd gets up on a table and throws Anna down to the floor with a high kick and Anna spies the security car key and grabs it. Syd runs over and grabs her, only to have Anna beat her with a mannequin arm. Hee. Kick. Hit. Grab. Syd gets Anna down on a display table as Security Dork calls in for backup. Syd backs off of Anna. "She can have the blouse," heaves Syd, walking off and picking up her purse. Anna glares at her and moves over with the car key. They exchange the purse for the key again and Anna walks off with the corner of her mouth all bloody. Heh.
Syd runs over to the parking garage and starts hitting the hell out of the security car key. The camera spins around and around and around and…finally, a car "bleep bleeps" in response to the key. Syd runs over and opens up the trunk. Nadia's bound up inside. Syd cuts her sister free and pulls her out. They hug. And we move quickly to the federal penitentiary. This can only mean one thing. Sark. Hold on to your bra straps, girls. Julian's back in town.
Vaughn walks past some prison bars towards Sark's cell and instructs the guard to open the door, even though that's not protocol. "We're old friends," says Vaughn. "Actually," says Sark laconically, "given our shared intimacies with your late wife…I may even go so far as to say that we're family." Hee. God, how I missed him.
Back from break, Sark is basically telling Vaughn that he doesn't care what he's here for, nor does he care much for his jacket and open-collared shirt. Sark's all, hey, glad you're here 'cuz, actually, all my bones are healed from the last time you kicked my ass, so I'm fresh and ready for your next bout of aggression. "But before we begin whatever inquisition you're here for," he says, "there is a pesky question that's been lingering in my head." He looks at Vaughn. "Do you mind?" Vaughn, clad in a dark shirt and dark jacket that make my cheeks flame up, says, "Go ahead." Sark, clad only in an orange prison suit that makes me want to be a prison guard who engages in daily strip searches, says, "Was it the infidelity or the espionage that motivated you kill the woman I loved?" Oh, ew. Sorry. But, EW. Sark didn't love Moronen. There's NO WAY he loved her. Because, if he did, I'd have to hate him and…I don't want to think about hating him right now.