Episode Report Card Sars: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Hurricane
By Sars | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 02.16.1998
On the porch, Jen and her unfortunate leggings light a cigarette. Joey, curled up in a corner, says in a nicer-than-usual tone of voice, "What are you doing out here? It's pretty cold," and Jen says, "It's pretty cold in there, too. I just need a little break." Jen sits down and asks her, "So what are you doing out here?" Joey replies, "Just watching Mr. Leery," and the camera cuts to The Flash moping in the Leery SUV as Jen says, "Guess it really hit the fan today, hmm?" Joey pulls a lock of hair off of her neck -- and can someone on the hairstyling team please learn how to put ALL of Joey's hair up? Like, enough with the tendrils! Get ALL of it INTO the braid! -- and asks, "So where's Dawson?" and Jen snaps, "Don't know, don't care, I'm takin' a break." Joey reassures her, "You know, it's just an ego thing -- I mean, 'How can there possibly have been anyone before me, how can I measure up?'" Jen giggles, "Is he really that trite?" and as all of North America delivers a resounding "that trite AND TEN TIMES MORE," Joey says, "I'm sure there's a measuring tape sitting in his bathroom right now," thus winning this week's Too Much Information Award. Jen, mischievously: "What do you think it's marked up at?" Joey, scandalized: "What do you mean?" Jen: "Oh, come on -- do you think Dawson's got a pistol or a rifle?" A particularly apt metaphor, considering how close I came to shooting myself during this exchange, but anyway, although I'd submerged my head in a sinkful of Maalox, I could still hear Joey protest, "Ahhh -- how would I know?" Jen prods her, "Oh, come on," but Joey doesn't answer her, saying instead after a moment, "Dawson was wrong to spew his anger at his mom onto you." Jen says, "So you heard," and Joey says, "Involuntary eavesdropping," and Jen remarks bitterly, "Well, I guess I'm no longer the Virgin Queen of Dawson Leery's hand-held fantasies," and I could have done without the word "hand-held" in that sentence, quite frankly. Joey remarks that Dawson has come to a "life-defining turning point," and as a flash of lightning lights up Jen's face, she asks, "Aren't we all?" Joey looks away, and then with an impish grin she says, "You know, taking into consideration his height, weight, feet, and hand size, I'd say he's slightly above average," and Jen ribs her, "Ah ha, so you have thought about it," and Joey blushes. Too bad this détente won't last.
By the light of a kerosene lamp, Dawson picks up the pieces of his father's model. Grams comes in and offers to help him, but he declines. Grams gets creakily down on her knees anyway and says as she hands Dawson part of the model, "Mr. Ryan used to say, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with a lot of rain." Dawson sighs heavily, "So you know, too." Grams sort of shrugs and says, "I used to be a big fan of motion pictures. Frank Capra -- It's A Wonderful Life, Mr. Smith Goes To Washington, Pocketful Of Miracles. Simple desires fulfilled, aspirations realized," and Dawson, unaware that he will spout these very things in film class next season, picks up the thread: "Fears of abandonment turned into fantasy spectacles of security and joy?" Grams gives him a steely look as he explains, "Frank Capra and Steven Spielberg are often compared for their dramatic content," and then she nods and goes on, "What I liked most about those movies is the fact that, no matter how far off the pedestal the character fell, they always got a second chance." Dawson looks at her as she tells him, "Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts the Lord has given us. With it comes -- understanding," and he says sort of skeptically, "The same way rain beats a rainbow?" and Grams nods and says, "From what I've seen of you so far, you'd better buy yourself a good umbrella," and makes a face as she gets up. Based on this scene, first-season Grams doesn't differ all that much from second-season Grams.