Episode Report Card Sars: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Hurricane
By Sars | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 02.16.1998
Everybody who actually paid money to see Dead Man On Campus, raise your hands. Nobody, huh? I thought not
Leery kitchen. Darkness. The Flash, in denial, babbles about batteries as Faithless Hussy says firmly, "Mitch," and Dawson looks alarmed. The Flash sends Dawson out of the room with candles and flashlights and then begins to hunt for an elusive kerosene lantern while FH stares at him in disbelief, and she begs, "Mitch, please talk to me," as he mutters, "I had it in my hands, and now it's disappeared -- WHERE IS IT? Where'd it go?" He pushes his whole model onto the floor in a heap, foreshadowing Dawson's doing the same thing next season, and as FH starts weeping in fear, The Flash shines his flashlight onto her rictus of tears and shouts, "Don't you dare cry! You don't get to cry," and she irons her face into a semblance of calm until he walks away, at which point she sobs out loud. Grams comes in and asks, "Is everything okay?" and FH has to pretend, "Oh, yeah, everything's fine. I think there's more candles upstairs," and she wipes her face and pushes past Grams, who just stands there surveying the mess.
TaMAHra's house. Roaring fire. More sibling rivalry, more frightful banter involving board games and "getting to know each other better" and TaMAHra's "dysfunctional ex-husband" back in New York. Doug and TaMAHra flirting Battle Of The West Side Story Showtunes Pacey gets annoyed Sars chugs a Jolt fishcakes.
Bodie and Bessie argue about circumcision again while lighting candles. Bodie says, "We don't even know if it's gonna be a girl or a boy," and Grams mutters loudly from over by the fireplace, "Or black or white," and Bodie comments drily, "Hoo, she's off and running." Bessie warns, "Bodie, don't," and Grams puts in, "It's not a judgment, Bodie, just an observation." I'm a Grams fan and all, but that sure sounded like a judgment to me, and sort of a racist one at that. Bodie asks, "Which do you object to more, Mrs. Ryan, the fact that I'm black and she's white, or that we're unmarried and about to have a child in sin?" Bessie cringes. Grams informs him, "What I object to most, Bodie, is when children raise children," and I figured Bessie and Bodie for around 25, but I guess not. Grams goes on, "Get ready, Bodie. That child will be identified as different." Okay, I can see her point there, but she could have made it a little more nicely. Bessie, her voice trembling, says, "Part black, part white, it doesn't matter, Mrs. Ryan -- this child will be one hundred percent loved." Aw. Go, Bessie.