Episode Report Card Gustave: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Yelena! Yelena!
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 23 | Aired on 05.13.2002
Kiefer kalls Palmer from the TerrorVan and begs to see him right away. Palmer explains that he can't meet with him because his security detail advises against it. Kiefer admits that the Drazens have Spawn, but says he's not coming to harm Palmer in any way. The sweaty, velvety pleadings of Kiefer wear down Palmer's concern for his own safety. Plus, everyone knows that Kiefer always keeps his word. Kiefer explains that Drazen wants to talk to Palmer on an untraceable cell phone that is to be delivered by Kiefer. "You're asking a lot, Kiefer," says Palmer. Kiefer gives Palmer his velvety word once more that nothing will harm him. The Drazens just want to talk about some frozen assets. Palmer sighs. The time is 10:20:24 PM.
Is it me, or have there been a lot of truly loathsome people in car ads recently? First there's the twentysomethings who sing along to the Barenaked Ladies. Uh, Mitsubishi? Even Merrill Lynch securities analysts in their thirties have realized that the Barenaked Ladies aren't "what the kids are listening to" anymore. Jason Priestley made a documentary about them two years ago and that was pretty much the death knell. And then there's free-form hand-jive girl in that other car commercial. You know, the one who looks like a teenage Shelley Duvall and "dances" with her hands to the amazement of her fellow passengers, including the driver? I keep waiting for her to poke the eye of the guy who's driving and send the car spiraling off a cliff. But watch. She'd totally survive the crash, and even though she'd be paralyzed from the neck down, she'd still "dance" with her face. On Oprah.
The time is 10:24:48 PM. Klockwise from the top left, Kiefer keeps driving to Palmerville, Palmer sits and thinks, Bride paces and panics, and Spawn sucks on her lower lip. Palmer straightens his tie while sitting on the bed in Room 907. Patty enters. "Did anyone see you come up?" asks Palmer. Patty klaims that she was kareful. She sits down. Palmer says he has something to tell her. Patty's lips -- highlighted by half a centimeter of raisin-colored lip liner -- undulate with expectant sexuality. Her eyes sparkle like two rare sapphires. "You're fired," says Palmer. Somehow he found out about his wife's plan. He tells Patty to pack her things and not to bother asking for a reference. Patty apologizes and explains that Lady Mac put her up to everything. "She can be pretty scary sometimes," she says. Heh. "So can I," says Palmer, putting on his jacket and leaving the room. Aw, Patty!