Episode Report Card Gustave: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Yelena! Yelena!
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 23 | Aired on 05.13.2002
The time is 10:39:53 PM. Xander comes down from the Kiefer Kube and asks Soul Patch why he can't access his network connection. Soul Patch feigns ignorance and promises to get the IT people on it immediately. Xander doesn't have time to wait for the IT people. He's got mole-suspicious stuff to do now. He takes over Soul Patch's computer and looks up Palmer's itinerary. "Looks like he's going to Dallas tomorrow," says Xander. He orders Soul Patch to find out Palmer's flight times. Uh, wouldn't that be on the itinerary? Soul Patch tries to stall. Xander flips out at Soul Patch's ineffectiveness and orders him to fix his network connection pronto. When Xander is safely out of earshot, Soul and Nina agree that Xander seems "overly concerned" about Palmer's whereabouts, but they still don't want to bring in Chappelle until they have evidence. Soul Patch wants to restore his "access." Nina allows it, but suggests that they monitor him closely. Xander comes down from the Kiefer Kube again. This time he orders everyone to watch the monitors, where some late-breaking news has just come in. The press has gotten hold of the phony story of the explosion at the Palmer Suite, and a newscaster announces that the Senator is dead. Soul Patch flips out, but Nina remains strangely calm.
Back at the Scooby Docks, FATB and TerrorHopper give each other manly Eastern European hugs to celebrate a mission accomplished. Yeah, it's about time one of their plans actually worked. "I'll take care of the girl and zen vee can leave," says FATB. Spawn's eyes light up when she hears this. TerrrorHopper orders FATB not to do "enny-zing until vee know zat Kiefer is dead." FATB calls Kiefer on his cell phone, and Kiefer is stupid enough to take the call. "I vas calling to confirm your death," says FATB. "But now I see zat you are alive!" Kiefer offers himself up to the Drazens in exchange for Spawn's life. "You've already killed Senator Palmer," says Kiefer. "I'm the last person on your list." FATB tells him to report to the Scooby Docks alone. "What assurances will you give me that you'll really let her go?" asks Kiefer. "None," says FATB.
Back at CTU, Kiefer and Nina are on the phone. Nina begs Kiefer to let CTU help him. Kiefer refuses to disclose his location. "If anyone at CTU is on the inside, Spawn's life could be in danger," explains Kiefer. "Right," says Nina stoically. He asks to speak to Bride, and Nina patches him through. Bride is happy to hear from him. She asks after Spawn, and Kiefer explains that he's going to pick her up. He doesn't let on that he won't be coming back with her. Bride tells him she's pregnant. Kiefer kries. Aw! Because everyone knows that nothing fixes a problematic marriage like an unexpected pregnancy! Kiefer tells Bride he loves her, and says goodbye to her for what he thinks will be the last time. The time is 10:46:50 PM.