Episode Report Card Erin: C+ | 1 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Welcome to the Apple Store. Would you like a gun with your iPod?
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 1 | Aired on 01.04.2005
Dixon leans forward and asks what, exactly, their work is supposed to be. He's awfully friendly for a man who's now working for the guy who ordered Francinator to off his wife. Of course, in Alias-land, that was probably four or five years ago (I have NO idea what year it is in this world), so he's probably over it by now. When Sloane starts answering Dixon's question, we inexplicably move to what will inevitably become the new Conference Room of Endless Exposition, and get the rundown on the latest dumb mission that this crew will have to go on.
It's seriously stupid, y'all. I mean it. And I know I used to recap every last detail of scenes like these because I was afraid that if I didn't, it'd come back to haunt me in episode twelve because the guy from episode two who had the thing they had to steal in order to get the Rambaldi device that blew shit up showed up again in episode twelve, only this time, HE WAS A WOMAN, but that was then, this is now, and the explanation of the upcoming mission is so yabbery and dumb that it really doesn't deserve to have several paragraphs written about it. Trust me. I'll just give you the basics.
Nerdy Guy? From the train? From the beginning of the episode? He's a Russian scientist. He's disappeared. And he has a deadly and highly unstable isotope. And no, that means NOTHING to me. But apparently it's really, really bad, because someone wants to buy this unstable isotope from Nerdy Guy and he's going to make the sale on a train traveling between Belarus and Latvia. And Sydney and Vaughn are going to be on that train. "I can't believe this," snits Sydney, barely beneath her breath. The rest of the Apple crew kind of glances uncomfortably at each other. "I beg your pardon?" queries Sloane. Hee. I love him. "Nothing," says Syd, barely hiding her hatred of him. Actually, she's not hiding it at all and I get the feeling that Sloane's kind of…loving that. Heh.
Jack asks who the buyer is. Sloane says they don't know, but "according to his grocery list, we can assume he's a serious threat." Huh? What? They don't know who the guy is but they know what he's going to buy at the Jewel? Whatever. Sloane says they know everything about the meet, except who the buyer is. I mean, they know the time, the location, the fact that there will be a green fountain pen on the table, and even what the buyer and Nerdy Guy are supposed to say to each other once they meet, but they don't know who the buyer is. Again: whatever. Dixon's on point, Jack's handling operations, Syd's getting Nerdy Guy and the isotope, and Vaughn will pretend to be Nerdy Guy and sell the buyer a bogus isotope with a tracking device, ID-ing the buyer and leading the CIA to him in the process.