Episode Report Card Erin: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "André"? Seriously? That's the best you could do?
By Erin | Season 5 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.28.2005
Vaughn wants to know why, after all this time, Leeman's contacted him. Why, because there wouldn't have been a plot if he hadn't, Vaughn. Duh. Whatever, Leeman's tracked down the book and he wants Vaughn and Syd to steal it and bring it to him. Leeman warns them that the people who have the book are really bad people and they'll stop at nothing to take Vaughn out once they discover he's onto them. This doesn't scare Vaughn, and he just tells Leeman that he'll contact him once they have the book.
Cape Town, South Africa. Vaughn and Syd exit a car, Vaughn looking über-handsome in a creamy white suit and Syd sporting a long blonde wig and another Sweater of Baby Concealage over one arm. Heh. That should be the drinking game this season: Spot the Baby Concealer. Vaughn and Syd come upon a butler requesting an invitation. They perform a little one-act play known as "We Don't Care How Stupid This Scene Is As Long As Michael Vartan Keeps Speaking French" and manage to get past the butler without an invitation. They enter a lovely house and immediately Vaughn grabs a champagne flute and fills it with something from a flask. While he distracts a waiter, Syd drops the filled glass onto his tray and the tampered glass shortly heads out to the general party population. Some random dude picks up the glass and starts drinking as Vaughn and Syd start waltzing on the lawn. She's stunned that he's waltzing. He says he's been practicing for their wedding. When? They were just engaged, like, two weeks ago. Or is it two years ago? I stopped counting when Syd disappeared for two years and no one bothered to update the time clock. I mean, really.
Anyway, Vaughn tells her he's been practicing with Weiss. Hee. Now THAT'S something I'd like to see on the DVD extras. Champagne guy finally drops from whatever was in the glass, and Syd and Vaughn split up to get what they came for. Vaughn heads into an office inside the house and immediately finds the safe. His phone rings and it's Syd, in another room somewhere, and she's looking at the junction box. Unfortunately, it's been customized, so Syd gets off the phone with Vaughn and calls Dixon, enlisting his help in finding the service records for the junction box. I think. I don't know. I need more yak hair and papaya juice. Dix quickly locates them and tells Syd how to modify the box.
However, at that same moment, a blonde chippie walks in with an open bottle of champagne. She obviously lives there. Vaughn puts on a rather terrible Afrikaner accent and pretends to be admiring the collection of dead animal heads on the wall. Blonde Chippie buys it, because she's a drunk ho, and Vaughn seems to be getting away with the act. Back with Syd, Dix orders her to cut a wire. She does. Blonde Chippie starts hitting on Vaughn hard. He finally pushes her off and offends her enough that she leaves. Syd resets the junction box and calls Vaughn. He gets into the safe and starts looking for what he needs. Just then, Blonde Chippie comes back and sees him with his hands in the cookie jar. She pulls the alarm, Vaughn grabs a leather-bound book, and he and Syd get the hell out of there. Syd's phone rings as she runs to meet Vaughn and she's all, "I'm heading to the extraction point!" Her doctor's all, "Uh, I'm fine and how are you?" Hee. Syd's all, oh. Hi. Doc. Whassup. I'm kinda in the middle of something. Of course, I probably shouldn't have given my WORK PHONE NUMBER to my DOCTOR, but that's not important right now.