Episode Report Card Erin: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "André"? Seriously? That's the best you could do?
By Erin | Season 5 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.28.2005
Just then, Spy Daddy enters and brings the conversation to a screeching halt, which is really his specialty, come to think of it. He basically tells Gordo to shove off and Gordo leaves. Syd's all, daddy hold me! Or, you know, she just gruffs, "Dad --" and Jack cuts her off to say that he spent a year in prison when Irina defected because the authorities thought he collaborated with her and he'd hate to see the same thing happen to Syd so, like, cough it up already, little girl! He tells her that they have to go over her story and that Vaughn is currently under investigation as a double agent and the crash may have been an extraction. And on that note, we head on over to the Shadowy Government Bunker of Soon-To-Be-Dead Hotties. David Marshall Grant, or DMG as I like to call him, enters and there's Vaughn, looking as handsome as ever, if not a wee bit shaken up. "We've been hearing about you for some time," says DMG, pulling over a chair and taking a seat. "It's nice to finally meet you, Mr. Michaux." D'oh!
And now is the time on -- hang on. What the? There's no…can there be no music? No music on the Alias? I don't. There isn't. Who the. What. I. Hold me.
I blame JJ.
Hell-Lay. Syd's riding along on the Subway Car of Clandestine Covert Operations as she sketches an incredibly detailed portrait of the helicopter pilot. Syd apparently spent the summer hiatus attending the School of the Arts Institute because the picture is good enough to land her a job as a damn forensic artist. Man. She's proficient in every language, knows every last martial art, including some that haven't even been invented yet, she has a photographic and phonographic memory, AND she can draw? I bet she bakes a mean soufflé, too. Wouldn't it have been funnier to have her sketching something that looked like a four-year-old drew it? "I think he had hair…and a nose…and possibly the legs of a…giraffe? I dunno. Gimme the pink crayon, I wanna add a tree made of cotton candy."
Syd enters the super-secret domain of the Apple Store. Aw, I missed the Apple Store! Also? Nice way to keep Jennifer Garner in a series of close-ups, y'all. Girl's not even three months at this point, though, so I think you're being a bit paranoid. As Syd heads to her desk, she sees Gordo chatting with Jack in the distance. We then switch back over to Vaughn, who's in the process of being grilled by DMG. All Vaughn wants to know is where Sydney is. DMG doesn't really answer the question, instead commenting that Vaughn's left shoulder is dislocated and that a package arrived for him. What, while he was being crashed into? And they saved it for him? They're so thoughtful.