Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Closers
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 5 | Aired on 01.16.2005
Here's my question: if VVH is so vital to setting up the TerrorServers, what was he doing an hour away in L.A. this morning? And don't tell me he went out to find Witless, because VVH and his never-again-seen partner showed up at Witless's office less than twenty minutes after Witless spotted the evil red computer code. So VVH just happened to be in Los Angeles on the morning of the big terror plan, sitting out the webcast of the initial announcement for some unknown reason? It makes no sense, which means this character will probably be dying soon before we're tempted to think about it too much.
At the TerrorDome, DaD and DoDder have been moved into a more secure cell. It's got actual walls and an iron door with a little sliding observation hatch through which we get a guard's eye view of Team DoD, who are now chained in back-to-back chairs. I wonder what they were saving that cell for? "Oh, let's just put the Secretary of Defense in this chain-link cage. We'll keep the cell empty in case we have a chance to abduct someone important, like Oprah." The guard slides the hatch shut. Inside the cell, DaD is beating himself up over the confession he signed. DoDder reassures him that everyone will know he signed it under duress. DaD is all het up about the embarrassment to his country that the trial represents. DoDder tries to hold out hope, but he says they've got less than an hour before the trial and if they're going to do something they have to do it now. Didn't they do something last hour? That was kind of impressive. But DaD's talking about something else. He's figured out that if he's dead before the trial, the kidnappers' plan to broadcast his trial and execution will go right down the shitter. DoDder sees where this is going and begs him not to give up. But he wants her to try and strangle him with the chain between her handcuffs. He can't do it himself, you see, because in case I didn't make this clear, they're chained to chairs and have very little freedom of movement. DoDder can't do it either; she refuses to help DaD in his plan to bail on her. Although she uses different words and also some tears. Then she notices an exposed gas pipe running along the wall and suggests breaking it. DaD shoots that idea down because if they fill the room with gas she'll die too. DoDder quite rightly points out that her chances for survival aren't any better than his anyway. DaD looks SaD for a while, then agrees to try it. They scoot their chairs over to the gas line. DoDder kicks off her shoes, loops the chain running between her leg irons over the valve, and gives a mighty yank. The Operatic Alto of Main Characters Committing Suicide accompanies the sound of gas hissing into the cell. It's 11:10:25.
11:14:50. Team DoD waits to either suffocate or immolate, Potato Face contemplates her severance package, and Kiefer's still on the road. Curtis asks Special Agent Breck to analyze the voices on the phone call between VVH and Poor Man's Robert Davi, because it's not like she has anything else going on.