Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Closers
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 5 | Aired on 01.16.2005
As Lispy Skip wanders off, he notices Potato Face being escorted back onto the floor by a Redshirt at 11:22:28. Another Redshirt packs Potato Face's effects into a bag as she watches. That quickly gets boring, though, and she excuses herself when she sees Special Agent Breck walking past. Potato Face flags her down. "I'm more insulted that you thought I wouldn't notice than by the fact that you were spying on me," she says. Special Agent Breck says she was just following orders. Potato Face explains how to monitor a system so "the subject doesn't see red lights flashing everywhere." Special Agent Breck is all, Awkward. Potato Face turns to say "Bye" to Lispy Skip, and heads for the door. Lispy Skip asks Special Agent Breck to cover for him for a minute. Man, she even gets work dumped on her by people who are below her. Girlfriend needs to learn to say "no." Lispy Skip catches up with Potato Face and the Redshirts walking her out, and asks for a private moment. They don't seem to have a problem with it. I'm thinking the Redshirts are all operated by remote control this season. Lispy Skip makes what he thinks are sympathetic noises, but Potato Face knows he's mainly worried about his own ass. She reassures him on that score (and it's a very high score indeed), and then says, "You're a geek, Skip, but you're a nice guy. Stay that way." Anything else to say that wouldn't be more appropriate for a yearbook inscription? "Good luck today. You're going to need it." And with one last bitchface, Potato Face is escorted out of the building in humiliation. It's 11:23:55. Whatever. She was going to quit anyway.
11:28:20. Team DoD is looking a little woozy, VVH is looking a little gay in his Screaming Yellow Pickup, and Kiefer is looking for VVH's destination. At CTU, Driscoll asks Special Agent Breck to project potential areas for VVH's destination, assuming he "keeps driving west." I think that's rather a dangerous assumption, since he's only driving west on the satellite screen while simultaneously driving east on the electronic map display. And these are the people who protect us from terrorists. Special Agent Breck points to the map on her screen and says that there are four residential and two industrial areas that VVH could be headed for. Driscoll tells her to get off her lazy ass and data mine them for any suspicious activity in the past six months.
Skip, who's been monitoring the Screaming Yellow Pickup on the satellite screen, interrupts to tell Kiefer that VVH is stopping at an intersection. And indeed, VVH pulls up behind a Family Truckster at a stop sign. Kiefer pulls off the road into a handy parking area to watch VVH unobserved, just as another car pulls in behind the Screaming Yellow Pickup. The car in front of VVH doesn't move. VVH, who's had just about enough of this kind of thing today, lays on the horn. Immediately, three very large, angry, racially diverse men get out of the car and surround the Screaming Yellow Pickup. VVH makes an "oh, shit" face and looks around behind himself to see that he's boxed in. And perhaps to wonder how far he would have to drive back in order to get his gun back from Kiefer. The racially diverse group begins harassing VVH, with the African-American leader of the group calling VVH "Mohammed." This would probably be a bad time to bring up Malcolm X. VVH says he's just trying to get home, which is a perfect opening for a "be nice if all y'all go home" crack from the Hispanic dude. Basically it's a Benetton ad from hell. Can you believe this? They're treating poor VVH like he's a terrorist or something.