Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT You're Not The One For Me, Fatty
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.13.2008
Claire Meade is wearing the greatest outfit in the history of clothing. Imagine! Willy Wonka 2.0-purple riding jacket, a huge white cravat, a giant Mad Hatter hat with an entire pheasant jacked up on top of it, but then everything's like... You know how in Beetlejuice all of the angles are off, and it makes your brain scared? It's like that. Like she's wearing something that science would say no, but nobody asked science. She wants her effin' phone, dog, and Daniel laughs because everybody's all about that right now. Claire asks if he had any revelations in the woods, and quickly determines that he's crushin' on somebody. He admits it but blows her off and she goes, "Her name wouldn't be Betty, would it?" He takes a second to think about that before exploding with some sound effects, and she giggles at him, but lets it sink in before tapping his arm: over his shoulder, the skywriting says, "DANIEL CALL BETTY."
While the tow-truck guy takes care of Cliff's car, Betty gets some beef jerky upside the head from Amanda ("This is Teriyaki!") and luxuriates in the praise from Daniel. They discuss how he paid for the skywriter, which cost less than the PR nightmare it could've been, which is in turn less than the suffering of the tornado victims, and the whole time they're in little bubbles that keep popping and bouncing all over the screen, and finally they hang up and Wili tells him maybe they don't have to cancel the issue after all.
Ignacio makes his special "Betty Saved The Magazine Pancakes," which in fact are just pancakes with whipped cream smiley faces on them, and Hilda's so proud of her for thinking of the skywriting, and Betty's all, "I'm just happy to show I'm equal to the challenge" and then Justin comes in scandalized, brandishing a copy of the issue in question. On Fashion Buzz Lloyd's all about how is this Bad Timing or Bad Taste, because something terrible has happened in "one of those flat states I can't find on a map," and the real question now is what Daniel and Wili knew, when they knew it, and what they were wearing. And that it's not a cynical jump to think that this was no mistake: controversy sells... And gets ratings, which is why Lloyd vows to never stop talking about this story.
Betty follows Daniel down the hallway trying to help him figure out what happened, and he's all shade and guilty, and then this entire press corps appears and Lloyd pushes past Daniel to have a chat with "our favorite sweaty Modey," whose fault it was. He shows Betty a picture of her giving the final approval of the issue, and Daniel's all, "Betty is not responsible!" And Lloyd awesomely turns to the camera: "Its name is Betty." And I officially cannot be annoyed by him anymore, because that was awesome. Daniel protests that she tried to stop it, but Lloyd produces time-stamped footage of Betty in the Kreepy Kitschy Kountry Store "buying questionable meat products and stealing toys from children," and they both start babbling about the skywriter, at which point Lloyd calls bullshit on the whole ridiculous story. "Any last comments, Tornado Girl?"