Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT You're Not The One For Me, Fatty
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.13.2008
Salsa music! That means Hilda! And I'm sure Justin, because he doesn't seem to go to school anymore, just lounge around in bright pink outfits and dispense sage and bitchy advice... and there they are. Hilda's all excited because her business permit has arrived, except obviously their little house is not zoned for that, and Ignacio has to explain to Hilda that she's been turned down. She goes off about how this is all Archie "The Rat" Rodriguez's fault because he is a Slick-Ass City Councilman who told her (and the breathless, insane way she shouts this is fucking hilarious) "You need to applyforyour permit legally!" She sits down, bereft, and Justin's like, "Fuck it." Ignacio sticks his big old stupid face in there about how it's breaking the law, and Justin's all, "What, like they have undercover hair police hiding across the street?" Hilda gives him a look and says Papi's right, so Ignacio kisses her on the forehead and leaves, and she's like, "...We can't risk getting caught!" And they slap five. Hilda and Justin are the most awesome team.
Daniel walks around the woods thinking to himself about bold ideas and some girl he used to know with pretty and good penmanship, and then a girl falls on him out of a tree. She's cute, not glamorous but very pretty, kind of like an outdoorsy Lily van der Woodsen, and they wonder if her ankle's broken, and Daniel admits he's not a doctor, and she's like, "Duh" and he changes the subject to the somewhat apposite Why Were You Up A Tree, and she complains that everybody's always saying she's too old to do stuff. He is touched, because what's better than a free spirit or something, and he helps her back to the lodge.
Wili stalks the forest in a leopard hat and giant red plaid thing, with a big gold necklace, but her prey is Connor, in the cutest hunting vest and hat, and they end up pointing their guns at each other. He offers her the first shot, and she's like, "Aren't you supposed to be 'thinking?'" Then they engage in some single entendres about how being out in the woods and killing things is just like sex, and decide to hunt together as a substitute for the fucking they're obviously going to be doing at some point.
Betty's running around like a tornado girl when Hilda calls asking for all the hats Betty bought during her "ugly hat phase," which Betty remembers more as her "hat phase," and when Hilda explains her plan to create an "underground styling speakeasy," to give her haircuts a "sense of danger," Betty's like, "I don't even have time for your crazy ass, but whatever you're doing don't do it," and Hilda, having located the ugly hats, lets her go.