Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT You're Not The One For Me, Fatty
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.13.2008
Betty spends about a thousand years checking every page of a copy from the press, whiffling the pages past her face and smelling it and pissing the teamsters off. She starts in about how the binding adhesive has a smell and might overpower the perfume samples, and the main guy Phil is like, "Oh shit! Well, I'll destroy all of these magazines and then invent an odorless adhesive, how's that." (Um, not as hard as you're making it sound? Like, ordinarily when you make glue, first you need to thermoset your resin, and then after it cools you have to mix in an epoxide -- which is really just a fancy-schmancy name for any simple oxygenated adhesive, right? -- but if you raise the viscosity by adding a complex glucose derivative during the emulsification process, you're golden. Come on, Phil.) Betty asks him to take a picture of her dorking around, and he won't, so she takes the shot herself: "Eye Of The Fashion Storm, first Mode issues approved by me!" Say cheesy!
Connor gives a short speech to the assembled magazine guys about how magazines are in trouble and they all need to go walking through the woods and come up with bold ideas so their magazines don't get shut down. Claire, watching Wili play with her phone, clears her throat: "May I offer a crazy suggestion right now?" We wouldn't have it any other way, babe. She tells him to take away everybody's cells and PDAs, and they love it. Wili almost has a heart attack, and Claire's still smirking long after Wili's offered to go Cheney on her ass in the woods.
Everybody's hanging out at Amanda's desk when Betty comes back babbling about the issue, and Marc's like, "Yeah we know, because you emailed everybody that pointless photo." Amanda shows her how she put a hilarious mustache on the picture, but before Betty can get all offended there's a breaking news story about this tornado tearing through the shantytowns of Kansas. The newsreader is all, "We won't soon forget this iconic image of destruction," and Amanda somewhat unnecessarily points out that the iconic destruction is not unlike the cover, which is a lady in the middle of a tornado, and Betty stares at it and it goes all CGI for a weirdly long time, because Betty is I think maybe a touch schizophrenic.
Betty begs Phil to stop the shipment, and he tells her that, as cute as she was being earlier -- and she was -- she has no authority in reality. She gives a limp, "That's an order?" But he's kind of tired of her, and tells her he needs to hear from Daniel or Wili. She complains that she can't get through, and tries explaining how she begged for the responsibility, and really just needs help at this point, and he gives her four hours. She runs off screaming thanks and he totally goes, "Whateva!"