Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT You're Not The One For Me, Fatty
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.13.2008
"I smell pluck!" Marc says, and whirls around. Betty's hustling somewhere and he gets suspicious, so she babbles at him about how they took away everybody's phones at the retreat, so she has to go to Talmadge Hall, except the wait for a town car is 45 minutes, so she's taking the petty cash and calling a cab. Marc gives her a look and says the jig is up: "I underestimated you! I thought it was all about poor homely Betty worrying about the poor homely people of Kansas, but no, no, no, this is about your career!" He says if she averts this disaster she'll come up smelling like a she-ro, and she's like, "I don't care what I smell like!" His eyebrows give an eloquent, "Word." I think about this every week, to be honest, because you know she smells like something. I say off-brand Frito's like at a gas station. Betty Suarez smells like Frito's. He says no way is she going without him, all outshiny, but he'll be damned if they're taking a cab. He says Cliff's out of town, so they can take his car, and Amanda appears out of nowhere with bags packed, screaming "ROADTRIP? SHOTGUN!"
Driving Cliff's cute car upstate, with Amanda's cute little feet out the window and cute little disaster updates on the radio. Betty keeps telling him to drive his boyfriend's car more recklessly, and he fully goes, "Easy-Duzzy, Fuzzy Wuzzy!" He tells her to think of her worry lines, not that anybody would notice behind "that canopy of hair," giving Amanda a cheap laugh. Betty whines about the time crunch, and Marc's like, "Yeah, and constantly tormenting yourself with tornado updates is really helping," which is sort of sweet, and she starts yelling at him about her "process" and he's yelling back to get her big old face out of his face, and finally Amanda screams, "LADIES! Chillax!" Easy Does it, Fuzzy Wuzzy!
Amanda explains that she wants to talk about the wedding, and he changes the subject, but she's all over it: she only came on the trip to talk about the wedding anyway. Betty's so excited about Marc's wedding, and can't understand why he's not talking about it, saying that she would never ever stop talking about hers. "And we would all kill ourselves in six different ways," Marc snaps, and she asks if there are going to be two best men, which he says is offensive, which gives her liberal straight guilt, and she's all over gay marriage and whatever, but obviously the best man is Amanda. She starts talking to herself about how she already bought a fuschia dress and Betty's all No On Prop 8 and finally Marc turns on the radio and makes them listen to Christian radio. Which as far as I'm concerned is exactly what getting married's like anyway. Barf.