Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT You're Not The One For Me, Fatty
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.13.2008
Wili hears something and crosses her fingers that it's an eight-pointer, but no, just the one: Daniel, carrying his new crush. She screams -- "Is it too much to ask for something with antlers?" -- but then, that's about to be Connor, by the looks of things, and she tells him it's Daniel with "some cripply wood nymph." Connor draws his sight on them, and tells her sort of prickly that it's his fiancée Molly, which cheers Wili up because she's age-appropriate and wearing ugly boots.
Connor notes the surprise in Wili's voice, and she's like, "Well! She's wonderfully ordinary!" Connor steps over that steaming pile and rushes over, because she's limping. Just as Daniel's getting the 411 that she's there with an employee, Connor runs over and sweeps Molly into his arms, leaving Daniel holding his gun like a little boy. She giggles and grins goodbye over Connor's shoulder, but I mean: Daniel, you have the pectorals of a seriously overcompensating former fat kid. You could have carried her that whole way, if you'd thought about it.
Betty's still giving minutely updates about how far they're going, and Amanda's like, "Betty. Now's a good time for some stress eating." Assuming Cliff's a food-stasher, she opens his glovebox and squeals a high-pitched squeal. She tries to play it off, but finally gives up the goods: a Tiffany's receipt for two wedding rings. There's collective apoplexy in the car, and Marc does the following things in quick succession: has a panic attack, hits his asthma inhaler, snatches at the receipt, and crashes the car. The act out, horribly, is on just Betty's screaming mouth, like those scary teeth that walk.
Marc's screaming, "What have I done?" And Amanda helpfully explains that he has crashed Cliff's car, but Marc's been shocked by the crash into making the car an objective correlative for the "car" meaning heart that he has "crashed" meaning fucked with, so "How can he ever trust me again!?" Amanda's like, "Um, you get it fixed? And it's ugly anyway?" Then, intriguingly, Marc throws himself down on his knees with his ass in the air and starts rubbing his face on the pavement. Betty's yelling at the cab dispatcher because it's going to take too long, and tells Amanda to help her push the car, for some reason.
"These stilettos were not made for pushing," Amanda says, but then it occurs to her that they might be for something else. And it's a testament to the total insanity of Amanda that I thought she was going to kill a forest creature, but no, it's way better. She steps past Marc, who moans into the road, and then does a Rockette kick for a passing car which she immediately tosses into this very pomo Amanda-does-Madonna-does-Marilyn finger-in-the-mouth roadside attraction thing. (Remember "Justify My Love" and all the insane shit going on in the video, and then she's naked doing this exact thing?) It's pretty amazing, and they kind of gloss over it, but I think we just figured out what Amanda is, and it's the thing at the end of the hall of mirrors, like in The Mouse & His Child.