Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT You're Not The One For Me, Fatty
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.13.2008
Cut to Daniel watching FB on Wili's office screen, feeling super guilty and wanting to come clean. "Don't be boob," Wili says, and points out that the bottom line is that it's a total hit. Daniel says he never would have gone through with it if he'd known Betty would get blamed, and Wili goes, "Tralalalala!" Just like David Bowie would. "Look at the big picture, man." This gradual dissolution of Wili's sense of self in the onslaught of Connor's sexual awesomeness is causing some pretty awesome dialogue. She says the frumpy assistant gets her feelings hurt today, it's no big because she's used to it, but it helps avoid layoffs tomorrow. It'll blow over, and in the meantime they can't get their hands dirty. "Taking the fall is what the little people are for!" I want a T-shirt with that on it. On the screen there's a tornado with Betty's stupid face coming out of it and it says TORNADO GIRL.
At Ignacio's, her phone is ringing off the hook and people are screaming at her about this and that. "That is disgusting! And not even physically possible!" She hangs up -- stop answering, douche -- and explains that somebody put her cell number on enemiesoftheheartland.com. What an awesome website. Hilda's grossed out, but nobody can figure out what happened, and they commiserate about how they tried to do the right thing and got burned. Ignacio produces fudge, but it's not enough to calm Betty down. She's really taking this hard. This is like the most emotion she's shown all season. She says everything's spinning out of control and gaining momentum and how normally she hates that saying "No good deed goes unpunished" -- me too -- but that it really seems to apply here... And Justin walks in wearing a hideous cheap-looking T-shirt with like glitter paint of TORNADO GIRL and an ugly hand-drawn picture that looks like a cross between Betty and Anna Wintour, and Justin apologizes and tells her not to talk it personally: it's just that there hasn't been "a T-shirtworthy scandal since Winona had her troubles." (Which is not true. My BFF could have made a fortune with his EMERGENCY? CALL MARY-KATE T-shirt, except it was too soon and CafePress is too square.) Ignacio launches into some kind of soothing, poignant speech about a high school for clones.
Predictably, everybody waiting at Archie Rodriguez's office, which is like a thousand people for some reason, are all reading the Fashion Storm issue. Hilda is wearing a gorgeous cropped black leather jacket which does not distract Archie's secretary from identifying Betty as Tornado Girl, and whatever finally he comes out into the waiting room and they descend on him screaming, for no reason because this has nothing to do with him and everything to do with Hilda's sense of entitlement, so he's just kind of bemused while she accuses him of the nothing he did wrong, and storms off after yelling for awhile, and then Betty's like, "Her life is unbelievably shitty and this is the only good thing that has happened to her, ever. Fix it." And those puppydogs of hers are powerful juju, so you know he will. He's got some pretty good ones of his own after they leave. Dude, when did Ralph Macchio get hot? Maybe he's from that Ryan Seacrest species of person where puberty doesn't even start until fifty. Man what a whirlwind that will be. Ralph Macchio, I'm so proud of your changing body!