Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Shanghaied!
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 24 | Aired on 05.21.2006
6:39:33. The Logans return to the funeral gathering on the airfield tarmac, arm in arm. When they reach Palmer's casket, Logan disengages himself and snaps off a salute. The ground fails to open up and swallow him. Then he takes FLOTUS's hand again and walks with her to the dais set up in front of the several dozen seated mourners. And he begins his speech. You'll forgive me if I don't transcribe it.
In the CTU Situation Room, Chloe is one-third-watching the speech live on the big screen. The second third of her is tapping on her laptop, while the final third is on the line with the Attorney General's office. The AG's got a few Justice Department guys in there with him as Chloe says she's about to "start the transmission." "I certainly hope this recording is as important as you claim it is," the AG blusters into his speakerphone. Chloe makes a little "la-di-dah" face. About here is when Hayes and Buchanan step into the room, asking what's going on. Chloe tells them who's on the line, and Hayes immediately jumps in to apologize to the AG. Chloe says that she needed to keep this "under the radar to protect you all if things went wrong...I think it would help if I just played the recording." The recording in question, Chloe says, is of a conversation between the Logans five minutes ago, which she was able to get because "an agent named Jack Bauer placed a listening device on the President shortly before this conversation." Wow, way to wreck what should have been a big dramatic reveal. The AG isn't happy to hear Kiefer's name, and tries to say he doesn't even want to hear the recording. But it's too late, and now we can all hear FLOTUS saying, "Because you killed David Palmer." You know how it goes from there, and the Attorney General and his staff look quite serious indeed as the President of the United States fails to deny any of the horrible shit he's been accused of. Here's a thought: maybe before he started fucking around with terrorists and treason, Logan should have replaced Keeler's cabinet with people more loyal to himself. His poor prioritization skills may well prove his downfall.
Back at the airfield, Logan's still going on with his speech at 6:42:26. And at 6:43, and at 6:45, and at 7:09, and well into Season Six. Okay, not really. It just seems that way. He's just finished the bit where he calls Palmer "A great President, a great American, and, on a more personal note, a wonderful friend." Lightning doesn't strike Logan right where he stands, but the next best thing happens: a cell phone in the back of the audience rings. Its owner -- a plainclothes officer with a hangdog expression built right into his face -- answers. He listens for a moment. "With all due respect, Mr. Attorney General," he says after much too short a pause, "are you sure this isn't some kind of mistake?" There's another pause, and the guy acknowledges whatever the AG is saying. Then he hands the phone to another agent, and starts signaling the men around him.