Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Shanghaied!
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 24 | Aired on 05.21.2006
Down on the ground, Chloe calls Morris in his car and directs him to the industrial park where Kiefer will be landing. Morris confirms, "I give this guy what we worked on and then I'm out, right?" Chloe agrees, but reminds Morris that she wants "the guy" to call him after Morris makes the drop.
The helicopter sets down at Kiefer's destination. Kiefer tells the pilot to shut the rotors down, and with another shot from his taser, the pilot goes nighty-night as well. Kiefer forces Logan out of the aircraft at 6:11:45, and dork-walks him to the nearest building. He shoots the lock off and herds the President inside. Like every other abandoned facility on this show, the place looks like the set of an '80s heavy metal video. As Kiefer leads Logan to a sort of office-like area with a desk, Logan has entered the bargaining stage. He's offering Kiefer stuff: the chance to get away, lots of money, contact with Spawn: "Whatever you want," Logan pleads, it's yours. I give you my word." Wrong thing to say to Kiefer. He starts emptying out Logan's suit pockets on the desk, ignoring Logan's protestations that the President of the United States doesn't carry any weapons. Kiefer carelessly tosses Logan's personal effects on the desk next to his own gun: Logan's cell phone, Logan's pen, Logan's card with nuclear missile launch codes. Better hope the Russkies don't try something in the next ten minutes, Kiefer. He undoes one of Logan's handcuffs and transfers it to a handy vertical pipe. Just then, he hears the door to the exterior opening. "Don't you make a sound," Kiefer threatens, and goes to investigate, his weapon drawn.
It's only Morris, of course, carrying a silver CTU briefcase. "Jack Bauer," Morris remarks, struck serious for once. "I should have known that." He hands over the case, then digs into his pocket to give Kiefer the "modified equipment," which just looks like a yellow wallet from where we're standing. Morris happens to glance across the cavernous facility and sigh, "Aw, that's President Logan, Jack." Kiefer fails to smack his forehead and claim that he thought he was just trying to teach a lesson to his cable guy. Instead he tells Morris to scarper. As Morris redshifts back towards the door, he tells Kiefer to call Chloe. Kiefer does, telling her, "I have him." Chloe says he has under ten minutes before the cavalry arrives. "Fine," Kiefer grunts. Chloe adds, "I don't mean to put any added pressure on you, but if you don't have a confession by then, we'll all be arrested for treason." Kiefer already knows, and he hangs up at 6:14:22. What would Chloe say if she did mean to put added pressure on Kiefer? Probably the exact same thing.