Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Please, Not Now!
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 1 | Aired on 06.11.2013
"DID YOU HEARD IT FROM PRETTY LITTLE LIARS?"
Paige: "You know how you spent like an entire season stressing out over going to Danby and your scholarship that you lied about and pain cream?"
Emily: "Yeah, I was tense. Lucas said so."
Paige: "What if instead, we both just randomly went to Stanford?"
Emily: "Stanford? That was my safety school in case I couldn't get into Danby."
Paige: "But this way we can be together!"
Emily: "You seem to be making a lot of plans for me."
Paige: "Beyond like Hawaii, you can't find a college that's further away from Rosewood. Further away from A. We'll live together and you can decorate the place however you want. We'll study on the beach. Spend weekends in San Francisco. And how much fun would it be to drive cross-country? You, me, donuts and diners.* We can start over out there. Don't you want to live where you're not afraid of the dark? In a place where I don't always have to be afraid for you?"
Emily: "It would definitely narrow the list of subjects the next time you decide to drug or drown me."
*(All of this sounds horrible to me. Just personally, that all sounds terrible. The best part would be waiting for Paige McCullers to go batshit again, but that's true here in Rosewood. You don't have to drive across the country for that action. You don't have to rent the U-Haul.)
So if the premiere is about setting the tone, then, I guess this is the part where Emily tries to recapitulate her mom's mistakes and get married right out of high school? Those are the stakes, but I mean: That makes sense. Both of those girls are just the type to do that. Get in the U-Haul, drive to California, abruptly figure out that they hate each other, buy more and more cats to make up for it, maybe a rabbit hutch, and then it's just cats and resentment and having the same fight all the time until they're just having the fight in front of people because they don't even care anymore, and then: No friends, only cats.
Or maybe, I mean, love is a thing people claim to believe in. So possibly this is her big out, and Paige is the One, and she'll never try to drown her again. But you know it's one or the other.
RETAIL THERAPY
Hanna: "In lieu of letting you in my bedroom today, why don't I pour small glasses of a lemon-lime citrus soda pop into two glasses and then look at you, owl-eyed."