Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT "Car Rental? Ashley, You Could Rent A Yurt!"
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 7 | Aired on 07.24.2012
Hanna: "Oh my God, just stop talking in code and tell the story."
FLASHBACK
Mona was telling Hanna about their new bestie code that they could use with each other where it's basically acrostics: "She Lives Under Trees" means "SLUT," etc. And then all of a sudden Mr. D ran up and -- Jason pulling manfully at him, apparently free from the curse of marijuana for the moment -- tried to beat Hanna's ass! But why?
RADLEY
Hanna: "Yeah, so I was freaked out and tremendously excited by the idea that Alison wasn't dead so much as hanging out on people's patios in secret, so without thinking too hard about it, I called her mom. You know, the dangerously volatile alcoholic. And then they found her body three days later."
Aria: "Jesus, Hanna. You really pulled a Hanna."
Hanna: "I know! Anyway, he's still pissed. And now A is using it to..."
Aria: "-- Hey, where's Mona?"
Hanna: "Aw, man. Did we somehow help her escape the mental institution? Where are your car keys?"
IS MONA DRIVING?
No, she is not. It's Jason, but the way it's filmed it seems like Spencer is about to get rammed off the road by Mona, driving Aria's car. Which is maybe far-fetched until you remember that Hanna was there, and then it just seems like the obvious thing that is happening... But it is not! It's Jason, drunk and maybe high, blasting music and zooming all over the road, and eventually he runs into a random car.
Spencer, being the level-headed non-lunatic that she is, abandons her own car at the scene of the accident, gets drunk Jason over into the other seat, and drives directly to Toby's house. I mean, I get it, her thing here: She feels responsible for Jason falling off the wagon, because of the anklet debacle, and probably she also just wants to fix like one thing or have a single family member. They've set up this whole deal very well, actually: The tenor of their relationship, like, "we can only count on each other," has been rising very quietly ever since they found out, and now it's happening in a way where she can only get pulled further into whatever secondary shit he's actually getting into. Magical, all of it.
RADLEY
Outside, dogs are barking and literal cats are literally yowling, is how scary that place is at night. Hanna and Aria go creepin' through the halls again, searching I guess the entire place in case Mona didn't just slip out the same door they came in through and is now wandering the night, but whatever. One notable line of dialogue: "I'm going to twist Mona's head off."