Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Destroy Everything You Touch
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 6 | Aired on 07.19.2011
LATER
Spencer: "I called Jessica to apologize on behalf of our stalker, but Jason said she was too upset to talk and I should call back when her handful of pills kicks in."
Liars: "The one time we actually tried to do something positive instead of fucking ourselves over twice as bad as other people do, and whattaya know."
A, on the projection screen: MY DRESSES. MY GAME. MY RULES.
Liars: "This place is lame, I'm over it. Let's amble away as slowly as possible."
Aria: "Cool, just let me go grab every product made by Tresemmé."
BACKSTAGE
Aria rolls up with a shopping cart to get all of her Tresemmé shit home. Aria backs up a four-door extended-cab pickup truck to contain all of her Tresemmé products. Aria enlists the help of The Board to get this amount of Tresemmé back with her in one trip. It's like something out of George's Marvelous Medicine over here. You got sprays, unguents, lotions, dry shampoo, wet shampoo, conditioner, shampoo and conditioner in one, dry scalp, wet scalp, undecided scalp, color damaged, heat damaged, products for limp and damaged hair, products for hair with body volume and manageability, you got a bottle of stuff she doesn't even know what it's for, you got foams and curl reducers and curl plumpers and stuff with SPF and stuff without SPF and you got color-coded systems that your stylist will explain to you and it's all gotta get home somehow.
Noel Kahn: "Hey, did you want that tribute CD that went terribly wrong? Or alternately, is there somebody I can blackmail so you will finally be mine?"
Aria: "No thank you, and no there isn't. I'm between old guys right now. And stop menacing me all alone back here and smiling that way!"
Noel Kahn: "I just want you to know, Jacob, that I miss you too."
Jason: "Noel Kahn, step away from Aria with that demonic CD!"
(Jason DiLaurentis and Noel Kahn are the staringest motherfuckers.)
Aria: "But I thought you hated me because of that time I tried to destroy any hope of your mind coping with tragedy, remember? In the Quad."
Jason, snapping the CD into one million pieces: "Surely one of these Tresemmé products will turn your hair back into the pink-streaked begging-for-attention mess that I used to want to molest, right? After all, it's salon quality product at grocery store prices."
Aria: "Just give me a ride home."
Noel Kahn: "I'll be here, lurking. Lurking in your dreams!"