Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Destroy Everything You Touch
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 6 | Aired on 07.19.2011
Round Two: French Prairie Nightmares. Obviously if Jean Paul Gaultier and the girls from Rodarte were characters on this show, the first thing that would happen is he would molest them: That's what the clothes are like. Like the kind of Dead French Whore clothes Jenna Cavanaugh wears to seduce her brother and/or Garrett the cop. Aria's wearing a giant purple satin pirate shirt and black boa, and does hilarious fashion moves, while Spencer is dressed like Heidi as a black leather dominatrix, and both of them have hair teased up to the heavens, and I think Aria smacks Spencer's ass at one point. Then you got Emily wearing a capelet and visible bra under a sheer Mona top and Aria gloves, and Hanna in an insane black feather shrug and a teal/white princess dress, and once again Mona selling the shit out of it. Basically this is the part where everybody dresses like Aria and Spencer naturally do on any given day.
Round Three: In honor of dead Alison DiLaurentis, where the girls put on her dead girl clothes and look super strange and uptight about it. Emily's body comes out to play once again, Spencer has dead-person makeup to compliment the look and they all still look gorgeous while sad guitar rock plays... And then BOOM! A strikes again!
The sweet pictures of Alison turn demonic, with her eyeballs strobing like a demon, and everything catches on fire, and the music is all pop-up guerilla warfare about THE BITCH IS BACK and the pictures start having words like BITCH and MONSTER on them and the lights all turn red and scary and everybody in the audience flips out and thinks about panicking and the Liars stand there looking crazy for a minute before doing their characteristic actions:
Spencer makes a beeline for Noel Kahn, because she is competent. Emily and Hanna hold hands and wander off backstage as slowly as possible, having lost their minds. Aria stands at the end of the runway looking totally lost and freaked out. And the whole time the music is bad-ass guitar riffs and the scary lights and everybody sort of mooing and milling about and being like, "Every time we try to do something nice for Alison's memory, she comes back from beyond the grave to fuck it up. Maybe we should just stop trying to honor her memory."
Jason and Jessica are like, "We blame you kind of," and Spencer finally unplugs the things that Noel Kahn can't figure out how to unplug, while Aria still just stands on the runway in the red light staring around like she forgot where she is. Maybe she's the next person to fall victim to the Rosewood curse where you just suddenly forget what the fuck is going on?