Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Destroy Everything You Touch
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 6 | Aired on 07.19.2011
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Boyfriends/Girlfriends/Parents of Liars: "We don't believe you guys are to blame for this particular thing. This one time. Not like any of us have the wherewithal or pattern recognition to actually notice that this precise shit happens to you guys every single week."
Liars: "We don't want to talk about it, but thank you for your support."
Emily: "Mom, when you and Dad were dating, did he ever date anybody else also?"
Pam: "Dating my ass. You know it was an arranged marriage. Just tell me I can move to Texas, okay? That deal is still on the table?"
Emily: "Sure. But where will I live?"
Pam: "That Ashley Marin seems like a stable individual to me."
Hanna: "What are you doing here, Biological Father? Get out before I call The Board."
Dad: "Hanna, your newfound laser-like intensity and ability to read other people's thoughts like tea leaves has me thinking that maybe I was a little hasty to cheat on your mom and then leave her and then marry another lady."
Hanna: "Wait, so I'm right about something -- like always -- and other people are recognizing it -- like never -- and also you might get back together with mom?"
Dad: "Well, not so fast. We're taking it one drunk handjob at a time."
Hanna: "That used to be my motto!"
Spencer: "Dad, enough. What is the real deal with you and Mrs. DiLaurentis?"
Peter: "Who? I don't know anybody by that name."
Spencer: "I heard you screaming at her on the phone, which you did right in front of me, and then I also saw you manhandling her at the fashion show, which also happened about three inches away from me. Either get better at lying or stop it altogether. Or I'll send you to the booby hatch just like the rest of our family."
Peter: "All you need to know is, Stay away from Jason DiLaurentis."
Spencer: "What I hear you saying is, Stalk the shit out of Jason DiLaurentis."
Aria: "You know what I mean? It's like sometimes I just want to be like, 'Enough with Alison! She died, whatever, it was sad, but get over it!' You know what I mean?"
Jason: "Except for the part where I may have murdered her and can't remember it, and somebody put a note in my wallet that says I did it, I know what you mean. But you can't really blame people for wanting the dark details."
Aria: "That is what I'm calling my memoir. The Dark Details. Everything is so poetic all the time."
Jason: "I just want a cure for my amnesia."
Aria: "Rephrase that in a way that is relevant to me."
Jason: "I don't 100% believe that the dead guy you found killed my sister."
Aria: "This again."
Jason: "So are we going to bone?"
Aria: "Drop me off at my pedophile boyfriend's apar... Second thought, drop me at home. I need to make a list of pros and cons."
Jason: "Chances are we're next-door neighbors, knowing this show, so that's cool with me."