Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Destroy Everything You Touch
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 6 | Aired on 07.19.2011
Jason's Ridiculous Face: "Just so you know, I'm still mad at you."
FASHION SHOW, PART ONE: REGULAR STYLE FASHION SHOW
Be prepared, moving forward, because the fashion show is like half the episode. Which is funny, because nobody's really getting product-placed here -- besides Tresemmé, hilariously: There's one part where Aria is cleaning up her makeup table and there's literally every single Tresemmé product, like she fills up both her arms like it's Supermarket Sweep and there are still Tresemmé products she has to leave behind. Just this Terracotta Army of product, rank and file extending to the horizon -- so we're just looking at clothes and having to be like, "That's cute, I would buy that!" and then a second later, "Oh right, but this show is a fantasy."
If they told us the designers, I didn't notice it, but anyway it's just weird and I think about it every time there's a fashion show on TV, like, even if one of the characters is actually a fashion designer, the clothes are still not actually designed by this fictional person. You know what I mean? Without credit, what even is the point of a fashion show? One of the many reasons The Real Housewives of New Jersey is even sadder than it should be is when they have fashion shows for that one place at that one venue and it's like, "You guys buy all your clothes at that one store anyway, even Danielle used to shop there, and we know you're not giving shit to charity, so like what are we even doing?".
(The dialogue that ended up in the close captioning is just fucking stellar for this part: "Hanna! You look great, Aria! Do it, Hanna! And Aria! Spence, looking good! There you go, Spence! Nice, baby! Let's go, Emily! All right, Spencer! Looking gorgeous, Emily! I love you, Aria! Work it, Hanna!" Doesn't that sound like an episode of Jem or something? Not to mention the one song that plays through the entire fashion show -- thanks, DJ Noel Kahn! -- that is surprisingly enough mostly about the word "fashion.")
Round One: Resort, or what I like to call A Chico's Kind Of Day. Aria is wearing a giant floppy hat and old lady jewelry with her voluminous one-piece pullover dress-slash-poncho, while Hanna is wearing a headband and an Elfquesty-looking shirt-dress that would come down to about the bottom of a granny panty if this weren't resort, and ankle booties. Emily is wearing a normal dress to show off her insane body, an ugly necklace and cheap-looking piping in a lovely indigo, while Spencer is wearing hardcore shades, an even floppier hat, six belts, an upside-down jacket, and the most intense face. She looks a little like the villainess from The Chipmunk Adventure, is the effect. Finally, Mona is awesome in a monochrome romper, Noel Kahn is awesome, and some other girls also exist.