Episode Report Card Erin: B- | 116 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Thank you for flying Exposition Airlines
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 11 | Aired on 2004.01.11
Kendall then tells Syd that she took a deep breath and told him exactly what happened to her, in her own words. Well, I'd hope they'd be her own words. Who else's words could they be? Britney's? Mandy Moore's? Jessica Simpson's? Man. You'd better hope it wasn't any one of their words; those dingbats can't put a decent sentence together between the lot of 'em.
And now, for your reading pleasure, The Tale of the Lost Years.
After shooting the Francinator, Syd passed out. When she woke up, it was days later, and she was strapped down in the back of a van. (Feel free to shout "DOWN BY THE RIVER" after that sentence. I know I did. Poor Chris Farley. Poor Chris Farley and his mound of coke. Aw.) Syd wakes up rather violently and sees the creepy Russian scientist guy she shot back in the first episode of the season. He tells her they're going to work together. Syd can't respond, due to the rather large piece of duct tape slapped onto her mouth. He shoots her full of a neurotoxin that paralyzes her temporarily. She can't move or speak; all she can do is watch. And emote. And grunt. And wiggle her eyebrows. God. Some neurotoxin! I really hope he saved the receipt on that one.
Creepy Russian Guy (I'm assuming he's Russian -- his accent is dubious) moves Syd to a vertical position so that she's facing the windows. He blah blahs something about Syd's roommate being easy and how they unearthed her body and planted her in the apartment. Syd was a more difficult case. Basically, they just burned the shit out of some random body so badly that the only way it could be identified was through the DNA in the teeth. Luckily, they'd somehow extracted pulp from Syd's teeth while she was out and just plugged it into Unfortunate Dead Syd Stand-In back at the Ovary Electric. Yeah. I don't know. No idea.