Episode Report Card Erin: B- | 116 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Thank you for flying Exposition Airlines
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 11 | Aired on 2004.01.11
Suddenly, Syd starts reciting the prophecy. "This woman here depicted will possess unseen marks, signs that she will be the one to bring forth my works; [at vulgar costs] this woman will render the greatest power, unto utter desolation." Yeah, yeah, yeah. Been there, done that, read the Oprah Book Club recommendation and turned it into a three-hanky weeper already. God. Kendall pipes up that Rambaldi's fanatical followers believe the DNA can be transformed and used to fertilize the egg of a surrogate mother. "Someone referred to in his prophecy as 'The Chosen One,'" he finishes.
Syd looks like she's just had half a crate of Krispy Kremes on an empty stomach and is about to hurl glazed donut pieces all over the nice gray flannel airplane sofas. She lifts up her shirt and reveals the scar on her abdomen. Like, where are her ovaries, in her lower intestine? I mean, I'm not all that familiar with egg harvesting (read: not at all), but I'm fairly certain that if you want access to someone's eggs, you don't go in through the goddamn large intestine, turn left at the small intestine, and then go picking through the fallopian tubes with a magnifying glass and a pair of tweezers, okay?
Whatever. Syd's properly horrified at the idea of someone cutting her open and harvesting her eggs for any purpose other than to introduce them to Michael Vaughn's spermatozoa. Kendall grimaces that Syd's knowledge of her abducted eggs explains why she was so vigilant about not handing over the DNA to the CIA: because Rambaldi's child would also be hers. Right. Don't trust that DNA to any nasty old government agency, Syd. Just come up with your own safety plan. Because there's nothing safer for some five-hundred-year-old DNA than a hotel safety deposit box UNDER YOUR OWN NAME. God. Syd continues to boo-hoo. Kendall continues to hammer away at the remaining exposition. "Glad somebody's doing somethin' around here," says the Exposition Fairy, waking up from her nap. She snorts and rolls over. "Anybody got a heating pad? My wand arm is KILLING ME."
As Syd continues sniveling, Kendall tells her that he came to her now, after all this time, because he thought that she would want to know all this, seeing as the Covenant now has everything they need to start making themselves some genuine Sydbaldi babies. Kendall says that he got Syd's little video present two days before she wound up in Hong Kong, and despite being pissed off, he honored her request not to tell her about the past two years. Wow. If Syd made that video two days before she wound up in Hong Kong, then she has the FASTEST growing hair on the face of the planet. Do you remember her hair from the first episode of the season? It was practically waist-length, it was so long. And it was wavy. And streaked with blonde. From shoulder-length blonde flippy 'do to Elektra-like tresses in forty-eight-hours or less -- wow, she really IS the chosen one!