Episode Report Card Erin: B- | 116 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Thank you for flying Exposition Airlines
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 11 | Aired on 2004.01.11
Patagonia. I totally can't come up with anything funny for this location because I just think of Patagonia coats when I hear this name. I don't even think of the location anymore. Isn't that kind of sad? Also? When you type "Patagonia" into Google, the coat company comes up first. I think that's even sadder than the fact that I didn't know where in the hell Patagonia WAS. Right. So, a plane flies over Patagonia. The Krew fling themselves out and sail down in their parachutes. Once on the ground, they gather their guns and get moving toward some church in the distance.
Outside the church, they drop a guard with a tranq. Inside, they make their way toward the fertilization area. Heh. "Fertilization area." Heh heh. Yeah. Because I am TWELVE. Also? I am annoyed. A church? For a sanitized laboratory experiment? Hi. They couldn't have, oh, I don't know, HIJACKED AN ACTUAL LAB or something? The hell? I mean, it's pretty and all, but it's totally unrealistic. Even for this show. The Krew toss some tear gas near the altar, and the guns start blazing. Shooting shooting shooting. Approximately four trillion, three hundred billion, twenty-two million blanks were used during this scene. No Sarks or Vaughns were harmed. Several useless henchmen were, however. I'm quite impressed to see that Sark actually pulls a little double-gun shooting action here that makes him hotter than ever, if that's even possible. After the final squib has, erm, squibbed, the Krew makes their way toward the altar, where a computer screen shows what looks like an egg, splitting in two. That can't be good.
Dix and Syd stand at the altar of fertilization, and Dix tells her that Kendall wants everything brought back to Oops Center for analysis. Dix just shoots Syd a look. "Do your thing," he says, walking off. Syd's "thing" obviously involves a flame thrower and some opera music, because she takes a torch to the place, paying specific attention to her harvested eggs, while a chorus of angry castratos heave and moan over the soundtrack. Good thing Syd brought along her handy Fire Blaster 2004, yeah? Because, you know, Sark probably didn't get away with a couple vials of DNA and some eggs, right? So taking a flamethrower to the place actually ends this whole thing, huh? HUH?