Episode Report Card Owen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Heartbreak City
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 10 | Aired on 01.19.2000
Back at the table, Jack and Dan fondle their long-necked beers, look at each other, and ponder women's strange "tandem pit-stop" bathroom thing. They compare notes on the Halliwell sisters' habit of vanishing and going away so they can meet up together. Just then Phoebe and Cupid show up. Pheebs asks where the hard Ps are. Jack tells her they went to the ladies' room. Dan and Jack check out Cupid and think that he "looks familiar." Phoebe and Cupid go to find the hard Ps. Dan gestures with his beer bottle and complains some more about the Halliwell sisters and their strange ways. Jack concurs. We see Drowsy walk into the club in the background. Jack looks at Dan and thinks that "someone's falling in love." Dan tells Jack, "Maybe." Drowsy's ring glows. He looks over at Jack and Dan.
Huh. I'll have to put a halt to my plan of putting wings on an ordinary pad. What was I thinking?
Hallway. Piper and Prue emerge from the ladies' room with big grins on their faces. Phoebe and Cupid confront them. Cupid asks the hard Ps if their relationships are going well. Piper says yes. Prue tells him "all signs point to maybe," while in that dress she has other things pointing in this scene. The hard Ps ask if the potion is ready. Phoebe holds it up and tells her sisters that Cupid has to drink it while they recite a spell. Piper and Prue go to their dates to buy some more time away. Cupid ponders, "Ain't love grand?" Phoebe just looks down at her shoes, since he's now shamed her sufficiently for not having a boyfriend.
Jack and Dan's table. The hard Ps, clutching hands some more, approach. Drowsy freezes the couples and puts them in a slo-mo trance. He whispers to Dan that Piper still loves Leo and she "always will." She's just using him since he's "the stud next door." Then he walks over to Jack and tells him that he's Prue's "transition man -- everything Prue always knew she never wanted." We don't get to hear what trash he tells the hard Ps because there's a cutaway to Cupid doing his Fred Sanford impression in the hallway. Cupid and Phoebe realize that Drowsy wasn't vanquished.
Back at the table, Dan harshes on Piper and Jack harshes on Prue. The hard Ps give as good as they get. As the couples squabble, Phoebe approaches them and interrupts. The entire cast tells Phoebe to "SHUT UP!" Finally! And word! Piper and Dan break up, and she throws the necklace at him. Prue and Jack also break up. Cupid assures Pheebs that everyone is under Drowsy's evil spell. Piper and Prue notice Cupid and tell him to "get the hell out of [their] club." Finally! And word! Phoebe tries to get them to change their minds, but the hard Ps glare at her with their hands on their hips and tell her to get the hell out also. Piper and Prue snit off (tm amorgan). Cupid and Phoebe come up with a plan to try to reunite all of the "loves" Drowsy has torn apart so they can draw him out and finally vanquish him. Phoebe whines that it will be impossible, because he doesn't have his ring. He assures Phoebe that because she has "a heart as big and true as any [he's] ever seen," she can be his ring. Uch. My teeth ached just from typing that out.