Episode Report Card Owen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Heartbreak City
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 10 | Aired on 01.19.2000
Halliwell Manor. Parlor. The Ps are gathered on the couch in front of Cupid, listening to his problem. Prue doesn't believe that the guy is Cupid. Neither does Piper, who wonders why he isn't a "chubby baby," although this actor fits that description in my opinion. Prue asks where his bow and arrow are. Cupid explains that all of his power is centered in the ring Drowsy stole from him. He convinces the Ps of his identity by naming individual lists of their romantic conquests. As he goes through the long list of Phoebe's love interests, she stops him because she didn't "love any of those guys." Cupid says she's never had a love relationship because her "closed heart" sent all the guys away. Phoebe disagrees. Cupid responds, "If people get the feeling that there's nothing there, eventually it's hasta la vista, Phoebe." Huh -- I would have guessed that the "nothing there" would describe Phoebe's head and not her heart, but whatever. Cupid goes on to blame Phoebe's "closed heart" for her recent rash of canceled dates, and not poor continuity on the part of the writers or Aaron Spelling being so cheap he wouldn't hire a guy to play Alyssa Milano's regular boyfriend, but again, whatever. Prue changes the subject and asks Cupid how he makes relationships happen. Cupid takes credit for bringing Jack and Prue and Piper and Dan together by suggesting the "potential of love." Piper asks him if he's to blame for her coupling with Leo. Cupid says that their connection was forbidden for him to make. Phoebe blathers some more in protest of his "closed heart" argument, but Cupid tells her they don't have time. The Halliwells have to help him create a potion to vanquish Drowsy. Prue asks how they'll find the demon. Cupid says they "can sense each other" because "there's a thin line between love and hate." Piper joins me in exclaiming "OH BROTHER" to this tired romantic cliché. Cupid continues to try to convince the Halliwells to help him by reasoning that if Drowsy succeeds in "spreading hate, he will destroy [their] ability to love, and that's a fate worse than death." For the love of Mike, shut up, Cupid.
Sidewalk. XX suddenly buys XY flowers. XX "can't believe" they're getting together. XY can. They neck. Drowsy shows up between them and puts them in a slo-mo trance. He whispers to XX that XY is still sleeping with his ex-wife on the side. Then he talks trash to XY that XX is really a "gold-digging tramp." The couple wake from their trance and immediately harsh on each other. XX throws the flowers at XY, who stomps off into the street and is hit by an oncoming sports car. Drowsy smiles at this.
Halliwell Manor. Cupid clutches his chest and does a Fred Sanford impression. The Ps run over to assist him. As usual Prue's costuming stands out -- she's changed into a white skirt with a white cloth tied in the back as a halter that looks like something Sheena, Queen of the Jungle would get married in. Cupid exclaims, "It's Drowsy! He's KILLING LOVE!" (Don't get your hopes up -- he doesn't mean the star of Time of Your Life.)