Episode Report Card M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Let's Give The Boy A Hand
By M. Giant | Season 3 | Episode 24 | Aired on 05.24.2004
Commercials. Shut up, women who can't get through a Steven Tyler sighting without turning into utter cretins.
12:51:22. Spawn, Adam, Bitchelle. I'm just going to tell you right now that there's not going to be a last-minute bombshell or cliffhanger this time around. We're just wrapping stuff up. Which is fine, considering that this season has more wrapping up to do than Marshall Field's on the day after Thanksgiving. Bitchelle watches a screen, and Soul Patch walks back in and asks for a private moment. Soul Patch is back in custody. Hammer's taking him to Federal. First Division, now Federal? How many places with adjectives for names does CTU have? Bitchelle's in denial; she doesn't see how he can be put in prison after everything he's accomplished. He grabs her for a kiss. Make it count, guys. Who knows when you'll have your first conjugal visit? Soul Patch tells her she's alive and nobody else got hurt, which is more than he hoped for. He can live with it. Can he live with the cheesy Tangerine Dream synth music on the soundtrack? Because I don't know if I can. Soul Patch leaves, and Bitchelle breaks down.
12:53:41. Kiefer, already at the hospital, gets a call from Palmer. He thanks Kiefer personally for everything. The country continues to owe him a debt of gratitude. Kiefer thanks him. Palmer asks for forgiveness for the position he put Kiefer in regarding Chappelle, and Kiefer says there's nothing to forgive; it had to be done. And, he adds, it's not the only sacrifice they made today. That prompts Palmer to ask how Special Agent Charlie Brown is. Oh, now Palmer is in the loop? Kiefer tells him Special Agent Charlie Brown is in surgery, but it'll be a few days before they know if he can use his hand. Palmer wants to thank Special Agent Charlie Brown personally when he's strong enough to talk. Special Agent Charlie Brown, that is. Palmer's never not strong enough to talk, sadly. There's more speechifying. Kiefer thanks him and says he'll pass along his sentiments to his right-hand man. Then Palmer tells Kiefer he's not running for president again. Kiefer thinks Palmer is making a mistake. Brother Palmer is sitting across from Palmer throughout this conversation, incidentally. Is that the Chief of Staff's job? To sit and watch the President make phone calls? If that's all there is to it, perhaps I've been a little too hard on Brother Palmer, because he's been doing a bang-up job. Palmer asks Kiefer if they can be better friends when he's a private citizen. Kiefer says it would be an honor. But I think that's only because he doesn't know what Palmer's been up to for the past few hours. They wrap up the call. Aaron knocks and tells Palmer that the motorcade's ready. Brother Palmer helps Palmer into his suit jacket. Palmer thanks him. And they walk out of Division. Why are we getting heroic music during Palmer's Walk of Shame? Where's the shame music? I want to hear "Love Theme from Shame," dammit. On the plus side, it's 12:56:32 and President David Palmer is out of my life until the year 2005.
Kiefer thinks. Spawn arrives at the hospital. Spawn and Kiefer hug a long time. Now I know how the producers were able to afford Kiefer for the third season. Kiefer says the doctors are optimistic about reattaching Special Agent Charlie Brown's hand, because they got him into surgery quickly. No shit. People keep getting from point A to point B in ten minutes on this show, and when I'm in Los Angeles I have to wait ten minutes for an opening to pull into traffic. I've just decided that everything that happens in a given season of 24 happens within an area of, like, three city blocks. Otherwise I shall run mad. Kiefer tells Spawn he's happy for her. Do you think Special Agent Charlie Brown will ask Kiefer for Spawn's hand? She says she thought he'd be upset, but he's proud of her and that whatever choices she makes will be the right ones. Great. Two minutes from the end of the season and my brain explodes. Kiefer says there are things he has to do, but he'll be fine. He's got to leave, but he'll be back. Another hug. He stops for a longing look back.