Episode Report Card M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Let's Give The Boy A Hand
By M. Giant | Season 3 | Episode 24 | Aired on 05.24.2004
The Kiefmobile is still on the street, and Potato Face has a likely match for the Cardmobile. It's 12:30:35. Soul Patch breaks in with the news that he's back in play and up to speed. That's a lot of speed to be brought up to a single minute. Adam the Woman Hater has his big season-finale moment, which consists of him zooming in on a license plate in an image from one of those traffic-cams. Woo! Bring us home, Adam the Woman Hater! Soul Patch relays Wild Card's location to Kiefer, who is only a few blocks away. Special Agent Charlie Brown spots Wild Card passing down a cross street and points his hand in the appropriate direction. Kiefer falls in behind Wild Card with a crashing lack of subtlety, and the chase is on. Wild Card's dose of the virus is riding shotgun in a black backpack. Kiefer gets cut off by a front-end loader. Isn't that just always the way? You're in the middle of a high-speed chase, and somehow some large, slow vehicle threads the rapidly moving needle between you and your quarry. That never happens when you're just running up to the store for some smokes. Wild Card smiles at his rearview mirror. And also at the fact that in the middle of the day, on a major street, his is the only car in sight in either direction. Kiefer updates Soul Patch so he can dispatch a pair of CTU vehicles to cut Wild Card off. Which they do. You know, if CTU had the power to teleport SUVs into any location in Los Angeles all along, we could have solved all of this long ago. Wild Card is still not giving up. He throws his car into reverse and executes a splendid bootlegger's turn to escape, but the Kiefmobile appears and pins him down.
Wild Card runs off the street and onto the sidewalk leading to a school, where he jumps out of the barely-stopped car at 12:32:35. He abandons his stolen ride on the sidewalk and dashes into the school, backpack in hand. The halls are crowded with students. If there's a sign instructing all visitors to check in at the principal's office, Wild Card either doesn't see it or pays it no mind. The CTU contingent rolls up, and Kiefer orders the other agents to secure the exits; they can't evacuate the school or they'll lose Wild Card. He runs inside with a batch of agents. Wild Card, meanwhile, is still running through the halls, his duffel o' virus in hand. The back exit is already cut off to him. There is no escaping CTU in the season finale, Wild Card. He heads up a stairwell. Kiefer dispatches Special Agent Charlie Brown to the auditorium. Does he smell smoke in there? I'm sorry, that was too obscure even for me. Charlie Brown is, as always, glad to lend a hand. The camera swirls around Kiefer in the now-otherwise-empty school hallway. Let's all admire him from every angle, shall we? It's 12:33:44.
There's a graphic violence warning between acts this week. That's encouraging.