Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Till The Suck Runs Out
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 11 | Aired on 07.08.1999
Rygel stares at Zhaan's freaky, blissed-out face, and then goggles twice as hard as she comes up behind D'Argo and grabs his batch. "I can think of a reason..." She moves around to face D'Argo and gives him a sexy grin. Hands on the Luxan! He almost can't look at her for a second because she's being so weird, but Rygel fondles his earbrow (nice touch) and offers his opinion that Zhaan is completely fahrbot. Pilot confirms that "Delvian females are unusually sensitive to ionic radiation," and D'Argo steps lightly away from her unusual sensitivity. She's now having to lean up against the table in Command in order to keep her balance. She's like a big blue Tori Amos on the piano bench right now. "One of the gifts of the Delvian Seek. It's called a photogasm." D'Argo thinks it's gross; Rygel does him one better: "I'll get a mop and bucket." Whoa, little Muppet! John comms to them, and Zhaan pulls it together: "John, can you hear us?"
Aeryn and John in the clamshell, where Aeryn is punching buttons all over the place. Thank God Aeryn and John aren't around for the orgasms or they'd have to have the biggest fight ever. Someone would end up dead! Probably D'Argo. "Yeah, Zhaan, I hear you fine. Guess what just happened? We just started a wormhole!" He smiles and wriggles around like a puppy; Aeryn's disinterest is just a tad too studied to believe. I bet she thinks about the offer every day; I bet she turns it down again to herself every day. D'Argo tells them it's fabulous, and all, but they need to get onboard so he can get the hell out of there. "What? D'Argo, obviously you didn't hear me. Read my lips: we just started a wormhole! Can't get out of here right now."
An alarm goes off in the module. Aeryn flicks yet more controls: "Pilot, I'm reading a plasma leak on the starboard propulsive. [Just like Zhaan!] Can you confirm?" John confirms it by, um, looking out the window; Pilot confirms it from Moya, and tells them to "prepare to abandon the module." I'm so sure. John's like, "Do what?" even as the alarm is getting louder. Pilot warns them he's "readying the docking web," and Aeryn tells John to get his helmet on, but John wigs out and tells her to get her hands off the eject button: "No way are we punching out." D'Argo tells them they have no choice, and Pilot agrees: "You can't bring the module aboard while it's leaking plasma. Moya doesn't want to put her baby at risk." D'Argo is suddenly very protective of the baby: "Nor should she." Shut up, D'Argo. Give me a reason you're not into this, because I know it's not because you're in love with John. Last week, every week after this, but not this week. John tries to get it across again -- "I might have just found a way home" -- but D'Argo points out that it's John's home, not anybody else's. John refuses to trash the Farscape One if there's any chance to save her, and D'Argo gets really aggressive: "There isn't. Stop stalling." (A) There Always Is; (B) Shut Up.