Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Till The Suck Runs Out
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 11 | Aired on 07.08.1999
The red bounty hunter lurks around, watching Aeryn bitch at Furlow, who's begging her to go away. "Why don't you go for a nice little walk outside, take in some of the sights?" Such as? "Well, if you go straight out that way there's a truly outstanding expanse of sand." Heh. "Just as much as you could want." There are plenty of things Aeryn wants, she explains, but "sand's not one of them." She notices the red merc poking around in the module and realizes he's accessing the flight recorder. Furlow is moderately interested in this fact. Aeryn grabs the guy and Furlow watches as they fight for one million billion years, and at one point his goggles come off, revealing glowing yellow creepy eyes. He finally knocks her down and her goggles come off just in time for her to get hit full-on with a solar flare. Blinded, she rises and tries to fight the guy, swinging on air in slow motion. It's rough. The guy's about to smash her to death with a huge metal tank when Furlow takes him out. "Whoever he was, he's dead now. You okay?" No. She can't see. Not even a blind and terrified Aeryn is interesting in this episode. She's just all, "You can't help me! Nobody can!" after like the first five seconds. Already knew all that.
Zhaan sneaks up behind Rygel and scares him. He throws his hands over his eyes, so he won't see her. I love how much play his disgust with her is getting in this episode. I'm just not convinced there's anything else going on with it. Two characters blind, because they can't handle the effects of the solar flares; because John and Zhaan's naked desire is too much to look at. But that doesn't explain D'Argo, or the lamentable fact that there are dog people. Who don't even matter because we've already been through this whole "Showing aggression is just as good as if you had actual offensive capability." It's mostly funny, and this scene is definitely funny, but it's still a crap episode that flashes back to every single other episode in the most boring possible manner. "Zhaan, are you fully clothed?" She grins hugely and commences fucking with him, wonderfully. "I'm not wearing a scrap. I'm nude as a newborn baby!" He shouts at her to get the hell out of there. "Don't insult my eyes with your naked blue extremities." She crouches around him, laughing. "Which ones in particular don't you like? Show them to me!" He thanks her, but no, and she pulls his hands from his eyes, which he squeezes shut. "Help! Help! A mad Delvian exhibitionist is forcing herself on me! Visually!" Zhaan laughs almost as hard as anyone would, hearing that line. She comes in close and blows on his face, so his eyes open. She laughs, fully clothed of course, and he's irritated. She asks him where D'Argo is, and Rygel tells her he went down to the planet to get John and Aeryn.