Episode Report Card Erin: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT If it ain't broke, Spy Daddy will BLOW IT UP.
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.19.2002
Viaduct Of Vindictive Fathers And Chip-Shouldering Daughters. Spy Daddy tells Syd about the Sark tracking that Sloane ordered over on the Falkland Islands. We go to a flashback of Sark shooting the shit out of some invading soldiers while Spy Daddy voice-overs that Sark fought back and got away. The SD-6 soldiers found nothing at the safe house but a rather beaten-up looking dude by the name of Klaus Richter. He was being tortured by Sark. Three weeks ago, Richter was in Barcelona. "When I was there," says Syd. Yes, Syd. Because it's ALL about you. Oh, wait, she's the main character. I guess it really IS all about her.
Anyway, Spy Daddy blabbles on about the ops manual of Irina's organization, "The Bible," and how, if anyone gets their hands on "The Bible," they'll have access to all the contacts, technology, and weaponry that Irina's organization has amassed over the years. Sloane believes that Irina gave "The Bible" to Richter, and that he hid it. Syd's all, do you think that's true? Spy Daddy's all, dude, I KNOW it's true. I'm the one who interrogated the poor son of a bitch.
Flashback to Richter's SD-6 cell. Richter was screened for every possible known infection, and SD-6 didn't find a thing. Yet, the man was clearly headed for the great beyond. SD-6 thought that Richter was suffering from an allergic reaction to something Sark used on him. "Apparently, the first sign of illness was bleeding from the fingernails," Spy Daddy voice-overs. Ew. Spy Daddy mentions that, even though Sloane wanted Spy Daddy to torture Richter, Richter was being tortured enough as it was. Instead, Jack decided to give Richter a teensy taste of pain-reducing morphine and then, when it was obviously easing the man's agony, bribed him into spilling the beans on "The Bible's" location by offering unlimited amounts of morphine.
As it turns out, the location is too remote to simply DESCRIBE. Oh, no, that would be too easy. Richter designed a map to lead Irina back to the location and "The Bible." Syd's all, where's the map? Spy Daddy's all, right here. Your flight leaves in fifteen minutes. See ya! Yeah, right. The damn map's in a copy of War and Peace that's housed in the technical services library at FAPSY headquarters in Moscow. Syd's all, phhhtppphthhht. Guess FAPSY ain't too easy to break into. And, yeah, I looked up "FAPSY." Zip. Zilch. Zero. If you can figure out just what in the hell it is, well, good for you. Email it to me and I will KILL YOU. Because I care that little.