Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Pets And Petulance
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.15.2002
Quantum wants to know if Phlox's expertise on sexual attraction comes from his training or from firsthand experience. "I do have three wives," Phlox reminds him. "And they each have -- ?" Quantum prompts. "Two husbands besides myself," Phlox supplies. Quantum admits that he finds that quite complicated for his furrow. "Very. Why else be polygamous?" Phlox points out. Quantum tries to learn more about the Denobulan approach to relationships, but his math is weak. "A total of seven hundred and twenty relationships, forty-two of which have romantic possibilities," Phlox tells him. Quantum mentions Phlox's five children, and asks how many there are in the extended family. "Thirty-one, at last count," Phlox responds. Quantum suspects that Phlox must miss them, but Phlox tells him that they all got lives of their own years ago. "I would have never guessed -- you don't look that old," Quantum observes. Phlox looks startled but pleased, and thinks he'll take it as a compliment: "My two daughters I am proud to say followed in my footsteps. One's a surgeon, the other's a biochemist." Quantum asks about the other three, and learns that one of Phlox's sons is an artisan potter who lives in the same town as his mother and "creates beautiful things." "And the other two?" Quantum presses. Phlox makes a small face and admits that he and his younger two sons never "saw eye-to-eye" and haven't spoken in a long time. Quantum apologizes for his nosiness, but Phlox assures him, "It's perfectly all right -- you asked me if I missed them, the answer is 'yes,' every one of them. The children, the wives...even the other husbands." Quantum looks up sharply and wonders just what exactly those forty-two romantic possibilities are. Phlox assures Quantum that Denobulans live a long time, and there's nowhere else he'd rather be than on board Enterprise. Quantum still looks troubled and says, "Listen, Doc, however this turns out, I want to apologize for being insensitive before." Phlox recalls that Quantum accused his entire species of being insensitive. "Then I apologize to you and all your fellow Denobulans," Quantum rephrases. Phlox, clearly enjoying teasing a less-petulant Captain, says, "Well, I can't speak for the others, but on behalf of myself, I accept." Quantum almost smiles. "And to think, T'Pol told me you were incapable of apologizing," Phlox observes innocently. He's got Quantum pegged, all right. Quantum furrows The Furrow Of Proving That Dreamalicious Vulcan Wrong.
Kreetassan Planet. Quantum, his bare chest painted with symbols, wearing cornrows and speaking in Kreetassan, brandishes a chainsaw. I hope he's taking it to this episode's script. As Hoshi, T'Pol, and Trip watch along with a few Kreetassans, he saws off rounds of a tree, presents them to the Kreetassans, says a few Kreetassan words, and proceeds to make a pretty picture out of them. This goes on for awhile. And while I have absolutely no problem observing Quantum make a fool of himself, I do take issue with being subjected to constant exhibitions of the animal that died on his chest. I think they adorned him with more fuzz in this episode than they did in the Osama Bin Dribblin' lacrosse game. When the Kreetassans fail to be impressed by Quantum's log sawing, he checks his e-pad and sees where his paint-by-bark went wrong. He corrects his mistake with more arm-flinging and Kreetassanish. The Kreetassans smile and look happy. Quantum glares at a barely-concealing-his-snigger Trip.