Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Pets And Petulance
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.15.2002
Hmm. How many plasma injectors are we talking about here? Five. Okay, now, excluding Quantum, how many members of the senior bridge crew are there? Five. Now, reread his rant about it being nice to have "all five plasma injectors working," but think of "plasma injectors" as the senior bridge crew. It would be nice if they all agreed with Quantum's actions, but it is not essential. He "can do fine" with four, and the fifth one (T'Pol) "just started to act up." Meaning that she's "behaved" herself and supported Quantum pretty well this whole season, but now they are having a difference of opinion. Am I reading too much into it? I don't think so, since it all bears out so prettily in his speeches. Think about it. It's not that subtle of a metaphor and let's face it, clumsy is what Bermaga do best.
But back to Phlox's couch. "Have you considered that your anger may encompass more than just Porthos and the Kreetassans?" he asks. Quantum's all "huh?" "How long has it been since you were intimate with a woman?" Phlox calmly inquires. "WHAT?" Quantum bellows. Shh, calm down -- with a man, then. Phlox tries to repeat his question, but Quantum shouts that he heard him. "I suppose you're going to tell me you have a degree in psychiatry too?" Quantum furrows The Furrow Of Exposed Lack Of A Sex Life. "Absolutely," Phlox shrugs. Quantum tells him there is no way Phlox is leading him down that Freudian path, and orders him to "get" that Porthos is the only patient he's treating. Quantum neander-DAHLS to his cot and orders Phlox to let him know if there's any change.
Bridge. A Kreetassan demands Hoshi to tell him why they haven't adjusted their time to that of their capital city. "I apologize, we weren't aware it was required," Hoshi tells him. "It isn't a requirement, it is simply a courtesy -- something your species doesn't seem to understand," President J.F. Kreetassan snaps. Hoshi assures him that she will explain it to the captain immediately. President J.F. Kreetassan tells her that she might also "explain" to her captain that it's been three hours since they told him he'd have to do the Dance of the Seven Veils to make up for Porthos's potty profanation. "If he has the slightest hope of acquiring any technology from us, he'd be wise to pay us the courtesy of responding!" President J.F. Kreetassan snaps. Hoshi starts to tell him that she understands and will let Captain Petulance know, but President J.F. Kreetassan hangs up on her.
Quantum is awakened by a chittering -- it sounds a lot like the noise Hunca Munca and Poppadum make when there are birds outside or an invisible bug on the wall -- and alienspeake in such a sound of fury, you just know it's all cuss words. Quantum gets up and whips his curtain aside, only to be confronted by a Pyrithian bat flying straight at him and Phlox brandishing a net and yelling, "Keep your head down!" Belatedly, Quantum ducks, and the bat flaps around. Phlox complains that no matter what he does to secure her cage, she always manages to get out. Phlox continues to leap after the chittering Pyro as Quantum furrows The Furrow Of Doesn't Phlox Realize That A Man As Important As I Am Needs His Sleep So I Can Be In Top Alien-Offending Form.