Episode Report Card Demian: C | 241 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Chris Of The Spider Woman
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 18 | Aired on 2004.04.18
The Lair Of The Spider Woman. The camera takes in a cocooned skeleton hanging on the wall before panning past several similarly cocooned skeletal remains and a few cobwebbed pillars and landing on The Spider Woman, who slinks into the chamber to shimmy over to yet another cocooned figure lying on a bier in the center of the room. There are, like, three dozen sets of skeletal remains littering the cavern, by the way. Remember that in case I decide to harangue you all about it once we learn the lair's location. The Spider Woman and her nameless and elderly victim natter about various plot points that everyone who saw the last scene already knows, so I'll take this moment to note that I'm kind of digging The Spider Woman's look. In addition to the Elvira-esque black gown that places the expected amount of emphasis on her tits, they've plastered the actress with a light grey pancake makeup, accented by darker shades of grey, highlighting her eyes and bone structure. The lips are crimson, and she's sporting a set of fake teeth that give her pairs of fangs on both her upper and lower jaws. Rather Halloweenish, but effective. The Spider Woman exposits that she's infected a Charmed One's Whitelighter, and I have no idea how she knew Big Gay Chris was a Whitelighter and more importantly, I don't care, because this show is what? That's right: Ass. A steaming pile of ass. The Spider Woman sneers something else at the elderly gentleman before digging her ebony Active-Length Lee Press-On Nails into his sides. Her hands flicker and glow as a shimmery wave of bright white mojo passes through the elderly gentleman's body. The Spider Woman tosses her head back in open-mouthed ecstasy as she extracts the gent's life force, or whatever, and she presently leaves behind yet another cocooned skeleton to join the others in her collection. Scene.