Episode Report Card Omar G: C- | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Follow Me. Zor-Else!
By Omar G | Season 7 | Episode 8 | Aired on November 14, 2007
Clark emerges downstairs in an alley, and Zor-El is already there, calling out to him. Zor-El is standing way up on a weird walkway between two buildings. "Of course, Jor-El's son!" he says. It's more dramatic up here! And more of the audience can see me, even from the cheap seats! Clark turns, but Zor-El is now standing behind him. Zor-El says Clark has the same devious look in his eye. Want to do some improv exercises? Clark asks how he found him. "Kara told me," he says. Zor-El says Kara only wants what's best for the House of El and is waiting at the Fortress. He says they're going to begin their mission to save the Kryptonian race.
Clark doesn't think this dude wants to save anyone. Zor-El says it's for the greater good. That's something Jor-El didn't understand, because he was a feeble-minded pacifist. He should have never dropped out of Drama Club. Clark says his dad did the best he could. Zor-El asks where he is now. He's just a voice. But Zor-El is here, in the flesh, ready to do some real acting. "Let's go get your mother," he says, trying to touch Clark's face in a familiar way. It's the Gayest Look of the Episode. "I'll never join you," Clark says. You're not my father, Darth Vader! Clark tries to fight, but Zor-El grabs him. He says if he'd raised Clark, Clark wouldn't be such a slack-ass. He throws Clark onto a hood of a car. Clark is hurt. He's bleeding. Zor-El says that the blue ring might symbolize victory back home, but here, it means defeat. It's a -3 to Strength and +4 Poison to Goblin Attacks. Zor-El says he had this whole thing planned and knew that Lara would give Clark the ring. Clark says this whole thing was a trick. Tricks are for magicians and cheap whores, Clark. This is SCIENCE! Zor-El knew that he could count on Clark's stupidity. It's a scientific fact. Zor-El slides aside the car that Clark landed on to get to him. He grabs Clark and tells him that his destiny is to rule. On Guitar Hero. He says they can do it together, as a family. Clark says Zor-El's not his family. He's like Uncle Chester, the Child Molester. Zor-El gets mad and says that if it weren't for Lara, he'd kill Clark right now. But we must save it for the third act! He flies away.