Episode Report Card Demian: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Gypsies, Tramps, and Feebs
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.19.2002
Phoebe bites her lip, drops her gaze, and softly wonders how she can strike a balance in her life. Madame T gifts her with a warm, winning smile, and says, "Let's start by unblocking some of that energy, shall we?" Aw. I like Madame T -- she's like Grams on goulash. I'll be sorry when she ends up battered and lifeless on that Oriental carpet of hers. Whoops. Spoiler! Madame T and Phoebe link hands, close their eyes, and concentrate on their breathing. Suddenly, a violent shudder passes through Madame T's body, almost as if a burst of energy traveled through Phoebe's hands into her own. Phoebe recognizes this particular physical reaction and guesses that Madame T "intercepted" a premonition meant for her. Madame T shoots Phoebe a horrified look and leaps to her feet, insisting that Phoebe vacate the premises immediately. Madame T shoves Phoebe onto the sidewalk and draws the blinds once she's locked the door behind her. Phoebe gapes.
Elsewhere in the apparently vast Gypsy Quarter, an angular, middle-aged bleached blonde with fried ringlets, black roots, and a sparkly pink headband paces in front of an old Gulf Stream trailer, babbling into her cell phone and trying to get Madame T to calm down. We cut back to the palmist's parlor, where Madame T hastily packs a suitcase. "Orrin!" the terrified Tereza moans into her cordless. "He's coming for me!" Dude. Orrin Hatch? I'd be scared shitless. Kidding! Tereza actually identifies her antagonist as a "Gypsy Hunter," which has to be one of the rarer job titles circulating at the moment. Nearly as rare as "Mormon Senator." Sparkly Headband claims that the reappearance of Orrin is impossible, as they "blinded him decades ago" and "only Gypsy magic can lift his curse." Heh. I think somebody on staff hates the senior senator from Utah as much as I do. "It had to be him, Lydia," Tereza counters, tossing fistfuls of trinkets into her bag. "The girl I was dukkering for -- she has a powerful gift for seeing and somehow, I received her vision." Lydia and her ebony roots realize that Madame T's not kidding with all this and offer to spirit her to safety. Madame T immediately shoots this idea down and insists that Lydia pack her things to flee the city as well. "If he's hunting Shuvanis," she warns, "he could be after you next." As Madame T urges Lydia to leave, a shuddering swoosh hits the soundtrack. Tereza turns to gasp something in Romanian at the tall, dirty-blond intruder who's appeared in her shop as Lydia screams Tereza's name over and over again into her cell. "You were expecting me?" the intruder asks. The intruder's too-close eyes, overly prominent nose, and puckered lips are smashed together in the center of his face, and the fact that his hair's spiked up to Jesus isn't exactly mitigating his weaselly appearance. "Orrin?" Tereza demands. "You've heard of my father," Son Of Mormon replies. "He'll be pleased." "What do you want?" Tereza spits, her fingers slowly curling into defensive claws. "His revenge," Sonny intones, "and your eyes." Sonny twists his lips into a menacing sneer and stretches his hands before him. Glowing bolts of reddish electricity materialize at his fingertips and race to the centers of his palms, where they fuse to blast outwards across the room towards Tereza's head. She unhinges her jaw to howl in pain as her eye sockets blaze and we hurtle into the opening credits.