Episode Report Card Demian: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT This is the way the season ends
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.15.2002
The moment he's gone, the helicopter chitters again on the soundtrack as Piper's cell phone rings. "Hey!" the Dolt yelps. "Did you just freeze me?" "No, dear," Piper grits. "The Angel Of Destiny did." The Dolt goggles at the news. Piper asks him to consult with the Elders on the matter, and he orbs out immediately. Piper answers her phone to find Detective Darryl on the other end. "Don't talk," he orders. "Just listen." Darryl's learned that the gals are being placed under surveillance by the FBI, because the FBI would rather chase after a trio of twentysomething fashion victims in San Francisco than track al Qaeda operatives enrolled in American flight schools, or something. An Agent Jackman pulled the records on unsolved cases in the Bay Area and discovered the Ps' names on far too many witness lists. Darryl intends to unearth what he can regarding Jackman's motives and information, but he advises the sisters to abstain from using bitchcraft in the interim. Oops. I meant "witchcraft." Slip of the tongue and all. Darryl signs off, but not before I compliment him on his ensemble. He's wearing a crimson button-down with a matching tie under a black suit. It's all terribly attractive, though I doubt a public servant in Darryl's position would ever be able to afford it. Maybe he tools around in that shitty Saturn of his because he sinks all of his take-home pay into his wardrobe.
"So, we're screwed?" Raige asks. Piper doesn't think so. If Agent Jackman presented that great a threat, it would serve only to wrest control of their collective destiny out of their hands. And that, she explains, is not what Man-Teats meant when he suggested that the phone call would help them reach a decision. Phoebe shushes them both with "ix-nay on the angel-nay talk," and drags them towards the stairs. God, she's an idiot.
Down in the street, an SFB Telecom van slides into a parking space across from the Manor. Season finale stunt-cast guest-star Bruce "Army Of Darkness" Campbell emerges from behind the driver's seat to scurry around to the back of the truck. This would be Agent Jackman. According to spoilers and other pre-finale media items, the character's name was meant to be Agent Jenkins. I suppose Bruce convinced his old Briscoe County buddy Brad Kern to make the switch because they both appreciate a good masturbation joke. In any event, I'll be calling him Bruce, so it doesn't much matter either way, correct? Bruce hops into the back of the van and sets to activating an array of surveillance devices. He places a lightweight headset over his ears, and directs the microwave towards the Manor. Presently, Raige is heard to whine, "I still don't understand how coming up here is gonna help." "Actually," he hears Phoebe reply, "it's pretty simple." A blistering guitar riff floods the headset. Bruce yanks the thing away from his ear and fiddles with the dials on his console. Oh, dear. That sounds filthy, doesn't it?