Episode Report Card Gustave: B | 4 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Midnight at Casa Kiefer
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 11.05.2001
Back at CTU, Kiefer is watching the news on a television screen that's the same size as one Hef would have in the Playboy Mansion. A black television reporter named Maureen Kingsley is announcing the primaries taking place that morning, where "David Palmer is expected to clinch the presidential nomination." Kiefer calls some guy named Frank on his cordless phone, who I guess is a police officer or belongs to another agency. He tells him that his daughter snuck out and asks him to keep an eye out for her. Boss of Kiefer arrives, and Kiefer gets off the phone, trying not to look distracted. Everyone assembles in a conference room, where Special Agent Cha Cha Cha has already plunked herself down saucily at the head of the table. Boss of Kiefer announces that there is word of an assassination attempt aimed at Senator David Palmer by a well-funded shooter from overseas. Nina-Bitch-of-Kiefer asks what a foreign group would want with David Palmer. Boss of Kiefer answers that the shooter was probably hired by a domestic hate group. He tells them to check the background of all of David Palmer's people and cross-check it with known terrorists. "We're on it," says Kiefer, putting his hand on Soul Patch's shoulder as if to say "I told you so," and everyone breaks.
Boss of Kiefer asks Kiefer to stay behind and ascertains that despite Kiefer's hustle, Kiefer is not that thrilled to be there. "Things better at home?" asks Boss of Kiefer. "Yeah," says Kiefer. "We're trying." Then Boss of Kiefer proceeds to inform Kiefer confidentially that someone working for the agency might be in on the assassination attempt, and Kiefer has to find out who. Kiefer protests that he's not the man for this job, seeing as how he busted some agents for taking bribes a while ago. "If there's a conspiracy to kill David Palmer," says Kiefer, "I'll never get near it." Boss of Kiefer tells Kiefer that he's the only one he can trust. "If Palmer gets hit, the first African-American with a shot at the White House, it'll tear this country apart." Both men lower their heads at the thought. Actually, a couple of planes flying into the World Trade just did "tear this country apart," so I doubt many viewers are getting too emotional about this fairy land where black people have a chance at the presidency. I mean, is anyone who watched last year's election still thinking that it's possible for the right man (or woman) to get elected president despite his (or her) race and family connections? Kiefer promises to look into it. Boss of Kiefer informs him that George Mason is coming by to brief Kiefer further. I guess George is an agent from some other department or something. Kiefer asks Boss of Kiefer if he "should trust George Mason." Boss of Kiefer tells Kiefer not to trust anyone. "Not even your own people," says Boss of Kiefer, as some music that sounds an awful lot like "Tubular Bells," the theme from The Exorcist, starts playing. The screen splits into three again. One screen is just Kiefer. One screen is just Boss of Kiefer, and below is a shot of an airplane in flight.