Episode Report Card Keckler: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Nobs And Nonsense
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.13.2001
Enterprise. T'Pol is coiled on the edge of the captain's chair as Mayflower tells her, "There's a ship approaching." T'Pol asks where it came from. "It must have been in a geosynchronous orbit on the other side of the planet," Mayflower says. Reed tells them the ship's got a ton of guns, saying, "They're armed to the teeth." Whenever I hear that expression, it always makes me think of a pirate picture in one of my old National Geographic books. Pirates are attacking a ship, and one of them is climbing over the side of the frigate with a knife between his teeth. That's really what "armed to the teeth" means. Hoshi reports they're being hailed from the surface. "The Captain," T'Pol states. "I don't think so," Hoshi says. "On screen," T'Pol commands. Garos the Shopkeeper's ugly mug appears and tells them to leave orbit, or else his big, bad ship will blow them out of the system. The way he says it is so representative of bad guys everywhere. They never just say, "You must leave." What they invariably say is, "I suggest you leave," like the word "suggest" makes all the difference, because the worst baddies are the ones who are overly polite about their evilness. T'Pol tells him she wants to speak to Quantum, but Garos breaks the news that he's dead. He is? Really? Does that mean Reed's the captain now? Before the crew can do much else but look at one another in horror, the other ship fires at them. The bridge is hit. Alarms go off, and a few things blow dry ice. Garos informs them, "My vessel is capable of firing ten of those charges simultaneously. Again I suggest you break orbit." Again with the suggesting. What kind of delicate wine would you suggest goes with cold lobster and caviar? Post Road Pumpkin Ale? Thought so, thanks.
Cave of Overuse. Riaan tries to open the locked, solid steel door, and Quantum runs back and forth, accomplishing nothing. Garos suddenly appears in the window. "How did you find out about this facility, Captain?" he asks. Quantum whips around to face him. "Was it from a somewhat ugly Tellarite merchant, perhaps?" Quantum maintains that they detected his emissions from orbit. That must've been quite a vindaloo he ate that night. "I forgot -- you're 'explorers,'" Garos says. Quantum says they're just trying to help the Ecoli, whom Garos is endangering. "There are five hundred million Akaali on this planet. A few thousand won't be missed," Garos says, evilly. Quantum turns to stare at him. "I'm willing to let you go, provided you promise not to return," Garos says. "We've instructed your ship to send out a launch vehicle to take you and the woman." Since he's already told Enterprise that Quantum's dead, and since Quantum's managed to get himself into a rather sticky situation at present, why would Garos tell him that lie? Why not just leave them to die or kill them himself? Quantum tells Garos that Riaan belongs there, while fiddling with the gibberish controls. "Believe me, she'll be better off on your ship," Garos says. "Now step away from the control panel, Captain." Quantum walks over to Riaan and hands her the phase pistol. "If anyone walks through these doors, aim this and pull the trigger," Quantum tells her. Riaan aims it at Garos through the Plexiglas.