Episode Report Card Keckler: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Nobs And Nonsense
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.13.2001
The Pipes of All Star Trek Non-Warp Drive Civilizations plays as the four explorers wend their ways through the town, observing and collecting visual information. T'Pol and Hoshi, wearing bouclé cloaks straight from any of the Brontë sisters' overwrought imaginations, furtively look about before stepping around a corner, so that T'Pol can whip out her tri-corder and take some readings. Hoshi stands guard and notes a couple huddled in another dark corner. She draws T'Pol's attention to them. T'Pol sneaks a peek and sees leprotic marks on the faces of the huddled couple. Maybe they took a wrong turn and fetched up on Molokai. T'Pol jerks her head in the opposite direction, and Hoshi follows.
In another part of the dusky city, Trip and Quantum -- also be-boucléd -- take readings. "Over here," Quantum says, walking up to a door. "I've got it, too," Trip confirms. "The reactor's about eight meters under this building." "Looks like some kind of a curio shop," Quantum says, peering into a darkened window. Just in case this civilization is also pre-Schlage, Quantum loudly rattles the doorknob. A real Ecoli citizen walks by, so Quantum and Trip play nonchalant by lurking about suspiciously until the citizen passes by. Quantum says that they might have to wait until morning. "There could be a lot more people around then," Trip says. "Might be easier to get a look at this thing tonight." Quantum points out that the door is locked. "Not for long," Trip says, holding up something pre-Ecoli. Trip fiddles at the door with a green light while Quantum mutters something about their first act being breaking and entering. No, I believe your first act was spying, followed by forgery and fraud. "Maybe you don't have to mention this part in your log?" Trip suggests. More non-suspense-building futzing by Trip, as Quantum keeps watch. A shadow approaches. "Trip!" Quantum hisses. Trip whispers that he's going as fast as he can. Finally, Trip gets the door open, and they enter, not noticing the ubiquitous shadowy figure watching them from the shadows. So much for Quantum's standing-the-watch skills. Maybe they've ended up in Dickens's time, and any moment now, Daniel Quilp is going to walk up and start needling them.
Trip and Quantum take readings inside Ye Olde Curiosity Shoppe. Quantum comms T'Pol, telling her, "I think we've found what we're looking for." T'Pol rogers back and says she'll met them at their coordinates. More snooping and prying visited on Ye Olde Curiosity Shoppe by Trip and Quantum. As they move into another part of the store, the front door creaks open, and the Ubiquitous Shadow enters the Shoppe. Since the Ubiquitous Shadow is sneaking in from the outside, rather than just flipping the light switch on and confronting the breaking-and-enterers, I have a nagging suspicion that the Ubiquitous Shadow isn't supposed to be there, either, and will therefore bond with the Enterprise crew, ultimately helping them to succeed in their neverending quest to be self-righteous and meddling. In a convenient trick of the light, we can see that the Ubiquitous Shadow has an expanse of skin showing below the cloak tie; must be female. Meanwhile, Trip and Quantum continue playing Snooper Troops. "The neutrino emissions are off the meter -- it's gotta be through here," Trip says, doing the Dance of Seven Scans. Quantum tests something with his phaser and reveals a forcefield. "There's some kind of magnetic barrier," Trip says. Quantum asks whether he can disable it, as the Ubiquitous Shadow noiselessly pulls out a pocket crossbow (oh, how much cooler can you get?) and takes aim. Quantum and Trip FINALLY notice her. MI5 they are not.