Episode Report Card Keckler: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Nobs And Nonsense
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.13.2001
Enterprise. "Even if we flatten the building with a torpedo barrage, it probably wouldn't make a dent in that energy field," Reed tells Quantum over the comm-link. From the shuttlepod, Quantum asks whether Reed can scan Ye Olde Curiosity Shop itself to find out anything. "That's strange," Reed says, after poking at a few buttons. "Sensors aren't picking up anything under the shop -- no basement, no bedrock, it's like the building's sitting on nothing at all." Trip suggests the existence of a dampening field. Quantum instructs Reed to keep scanning the shop, and to let him know if he finds anything of interest. And then I'd advise you get yourself to Dr. Phlox for some bronzing cream, Reed. You sorely need a hint of color rubbed in.
In the shuttlepod, Quantum brings up what Riaan said about people being sick. "I think we may have seen some of them -- mottled skin, lesions on their faces." Hoshi says; we catch sight of the shuttlepod windscreen behind her head. It seems to be haphazardly covered from the outside by leaves and branches. Snerk. Brilliant camouflage techniques. Trip continues, as though I hadn't interrupted, "If we can get one of these people to the ship, Dr. Phlox might be able to tell us what's wrong with them." Yeah, that's a good idea. "I'd advise against that," T'Pol says smoothly. "If I'm not mistaken, the fear of alien abduction caused a great deal of apprehension on your planet for a centuries." Quantum rolls his eyes. He's such an idiot. T'Pol suggests that they talk to the guy whose shoppe they broke into before doing anything more drastic.
Trip and Quantum revisit the scene of their crime and pretend to be antiquers. There's some time-killing chit-chat back and forth before Quantum whips out a tri-corder and accuses the shopkeeper of not being an Ecoli. The shopkeeper whips out his tri-corder and tells his patrons they aren't, either. It's all a little too macho for my taste.
Hey, The Three Musketeers is on! Not the Michael York-Oliver Reed version, which I prefer, but Oliver Platt's in this one, and that more than makes up for O'Donnell's blond 'fro.
Quantum introduces himself: "We're explorers from the planet Earth." The shopkeeper doesn't know what Earth is, and asks how Trip and Quantum knew he was there. "We picked up the signature from your reactor," Trip tells him. "Now that you know who we are, maybe you could tell us what you're doing here," Quantum suggests. The shopkeeper says he's just an explorer as well: "At least I used to be. I'm from the Malurian System." Closed-captioning got the spelling wrong, it's "Mallurian" and they are a race alluded to in TOS: The Changeling, who were conveniently wiped out by an artificial life form called The Nomad in 2260. Shopkeeper explains that he came to the Ecoli on a survey mission: "We had no plans to stay here," he tells them, "but after a few months I found myself quite taken with these people. So I decided to stay." He's got enough of the typical baddie's smoothly low voice that you know he wasn't "taken" with anything; it's more like he's there to take. "If you enjoy the simple life so much, why do you have an anti-matter reactor in your basement?" Quantum demands. "There's nothing nefarious about it, I assure you," Shopkeeper says in his nefarious voice. "The reactor powers a fabrication device, it allows me to make food and clothing." ["I want one!" -- Wing Chun] Quantum tells the shopkeeper that some of the Ecoli think he's the cause of the sickness spreading through the city. "I see you've met our apothecary," Shopkeeper sneers. "You know her?" Quantum asks. Shopkeeper says that Riaan has been making accusations against him for months, adding that the plague spreading through the city is indigenous, and he didn't bring it to them. "Unfortunately, these people don't have the medical technology to cure it," Shopkeeper finishes. "So this woman blames the newcomer: me." Quantum says he'd like to look at the reactor in the basement, but Shopkeeper tells him he has customers to attend to, and forcefully ushers them out.