Episode Report Card Demian: B | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Somewhere, Sigmund Freud spins in his grave
By Demian | Season 3 | Episode 15 | Aired on 2001.02.22
The gentlemen's staging area in the basement. Victor and the Dolt futz with their respective bow ties. Victor first chides the Dolt for "living off the girls," then dredges up the Whitelighter-as-homewrecker non-plot non-point from last week. The Dolt endures the snarky rant patiently, then turns to confront his soon-to-be father-in-law. The Dolt asserts that the Whitelighter-as-homewrecker non-plot non-point has nothing to do with his relationship with Piper. He insists he will remain with Piper through "this life, the afterlife, and whatever comes after that." He allows that Victor might not be comfortable with the situation, but adds that nothing -- not even Victor's objections -- will keep Piper and the Dolt from marrying that afternoon. Victor, for some reason moved by the Dolt's little speech, shrugs off twenty years of festering resentment and says, "You know? I could probably get used to having a Whitelighter for a son-in-law." Victor helps the Dolt with his tie as Cole makes his way down the cellar stairs. Cole, aiming for "offhanded jocularity" but taking a wrong turn at "desperate overcompensation," too-perkily asks, "Everybody having fun down here?" The Dolt, to Victor: "Where do you stand on demons?" Ba-dump-bump. Not.
Cut to the hallway. Prue bounds down the stairs from the attic. Phoebe asks if the BoS had anything to say about Prue's "dreams." Prue sighs that the BoS did not. Phoebe wonders what they should do, given that "the wedding is in a half an hour." "Get ready, get set, get through it," Prue replies, "for Piper." "For Piper," Phoebe states in agreement, and they head off to their respective bedrooms.
Piper's boudoir. Piper's finally changed into her dress, and stands by the bed, fiddling with an earring. The dress itself is pretty simple: a full tulle skirt with medium-length train under a high-necked, sleeveless lace bodice. It's white, and while I may be tempted to make a remark about the appropriateness of that, given Piper's habit of freezing you-know-who you-know-where while engaged in ungodly acts of you-know-what, who am I to deny her a white wedding? Piper moves to the mirror, still adjusting the earring. While Piper's attention is diverted, glowing golf balls swirl, then fade to reveal Finola Hughes, whom I know better as Anna Scorpio from General Hospital. Yes, I used to watch that show. Shut up. ["Me too. Remember when she peeled off the fake scar and Robert -- er. Shut up." -- Sars] Finola gently tells Piper that she looks "so beautiful." Piper starts at the sound of Finola's voice, and whispers a plaintive "Mom?" So this would be Patty. Patty tells Piper she should not be frightened. Piper hesitantly turns to face her mother. "It can't be," Piper says. "Ghosts glow, and you're not glowing." Patty reveals she's not a ghost -- for today, at any rate -- and that TPTB decided to allow her to return to Earth for the ceremony as compensation for everything TPTB put Piper and the Dolt through over the last couple of years. Patty notes that Piper has styled her hair the same way Patty wore hers on her own wedding day. Piper confirms this, telling her mother she kept the wedding album after her mother's death, and would page through it at night as if it were "a bedtime story." Aw. Patty smoothes a stray lock of her daughter's hair into place as Piper struggles to keep from bursting into tears. Patty tells Piper she knew Piper would be the first to walk down the aisle, as Piper "is the heart of [their] family." Patty's large teeth are beginning to creep me out. Piper wonders if she's imagining the entire exchange. Patty and her large teeth assure Piper that she's not, and Patty pulls Piper into an embrace. Piper's composure begins to fail her as she lets go with a couple of shuddering sobs.