Episode Report Card Demian: B | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Somewhere, Sigmund Freud spins in his grave
By Demian | Season 3 | Episode 15 | Aired on 2001.02.22
Prue assists Piper with her veil as Piper takes her place next to the Dolt. Victor sidles up to the Dolt, offering his services as best man, which the Dolt happily accepts. Piper beams. Phoebe worries that with no power in the manor, they won't have any music for the ceremony. Grams tosses a little TK at the wind chimes, which proceed to tinkle out Pachelbel's Canon. Prue, grinning, slyly asks if they could get better lighting as well. The Dolt complies with her request, popping a white ball from his hand towards the ceiling. The ball breaks off into five shimmering segments that form a sparkly, cascading Whitelighter chandelier. Grams clears her throat to begin the Handfasting ritual. Because I am so devoted to you, my dear, sweet readers, I will transcribe what is said, despite the fact it all threatens to make me violently ill. Grams tells the assemblage they are "gathered [there] today to unite two souls as one." She asks Piper and the Dolt if they "join [the ceremony] of their own free will to acknowledge the eternal bond shared by both of [them]." Piper and the Dolt respond, "I do," in turn. Grams tells them to face each other and hold hands. She then instructs the Dolt to recite his vows.
The Dolt: "Piper, through all the tears and struggles, I always knew in my heart we would make it here. I promise to love and respect you from this point forward as your husband, as my wife, my lover, my friend, and my [Do I really have to type this crap?] soul mate. [Christ on a stick. I feel so unclean.] All I am is yours."