Episode Report Card Erin: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Swing Out, Sister
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 20 | Aired on 04.24.2004
Torture Chamber of Seriously Sexy Victims. Someone removes the mask over Vaughn's face and waves some smelling salts beneath his nose. He wakes, and it's Moronen who's waking him. She tells him that it's over, that the protocol worked, and that somehow he survived. Yeah. Pull the other one and it plays "Witchy Woman." Vaughn worries, "Did I tell him?" "You told Sark everything," says Moronen. Then she tells him that Sark will be back any second and that Vaughn has to get out of there. She gets him to his feet and Vaughn? Still hot. "Why're you doing this?" asks Vaughn. "For me, our marriage was real," says Moronen, helping him on with his shirt. "The only real thing in my life. Go." Vaughn kind of stumbles out, obviously smarting a bit.
Chechnya. The only funny thing I have to say about Chechnya is that as soon as I heard "Chechnya," I immediately thought of Bridget Jones' Diary and that scene where she's vacuuming the floor before the book launch and going, "Chechneeya! Chechneeya!" Yeah. So. Not so much with the funny. Anyway. Chechnya. We're at the prison camp. It's daylight, which, considering that it's night back in Hell-Lay, is a nice touch, continuity-wise. In a stairwell somewhere, Syd easily enters through a hidden passage, leaving what looks like a backpack behind. Yeah. Those prison camps in Chechnya, they're just SO easy to break into.
Syd's dressed as a prisoner. She makes her way inside, finally ending up in a room full of seriously ugly women. Yes. Because all Russian women are ugly. Okay. We get it. Except for the part where WE DON'T. Syd looks around for her sister and doesn't see anyone with a label on their uniform stating, "Talia, a.k.a. Syd's Sister." A guard tries to get the women to line up. Syd watches warily, then moves over to a wall and places something there. It blinks. She slowly gets into line, and suddenly there's an explosion at the back of the room where she placed the blinking thingy. Syd lets herself be moved along with the rest of the female prisoners, effectively moving herself into the prison without being detected.
Hell-Lay. Vaughn's wandering down a street behind some warehouses. A car approaches and he tries to flag it down, but the car just careens around him. Crazy drugged-up torture victims! Get outta the road! A truck approaches, and Vaughn tries to wave it down. The truck barely screeches to a stop, as Vaughn just sort of collapses against the grill, obviously too exhausted to do anything more. Heh. He moves around and gets into the cab. The driver asks if he's okay, and Vaughn just responds that he needs to get to a phone. The driver just hands him his own cell phone. Um. Yeah. If that didn't tell you right there that the driver was a plant, I don't know what would. Any truck driver worth his salt would be all, buddy? Get the fuck outta my cab. But not this one. Oh ho no! He just up and offers Vaughn his phone. Whatever.